Educational Fieldtrip to Outer Space (part one)

"My Hasselblad or the FM2?"

I ask myself as I pack my bags for my trip to outer space. You call me on the telephone to remind me that our flight to Irkutsk leaves soon... I should be at the airport. Our rocketship awaits us there... in the god forsaken tundras of Irkutsk, where it will thrust its mighty engines and push us beyond the brim of our atmosphere.

I'm undecided. But I'm sure that I should only bring one camera. My Hasselblad will let me take mighty amazing medium format photos in outer space. Surely a photo of the earth shot only with a Hasselblad would be able to accord it its much deserved awe and wonder. However, my FM2 is much lighter and would allow me 36 photos per roll as opposed to 12 on the Hassie (as I affectionately call my Hasselblad). Surely, those extra frames would come in handy. Who knows, it's not everyday that one gets to visit outer space.

Ringggggggg! Ringggggggg! you call again

"Hurry, the plane leaves in an hour? Where are you? You're not even checked in yet? Are you still fiddling with your cameras?" you say.

I choose...

Hassie, FM2, Hassie, FM2, Hassie, FM2, Hassie, FM2...

Ah what the hell! My Hassie it shall be. I'll just take less photos... but I'll be damn sure that they'll be fucking impressive photos. Well, Neil Armstrong used a Hasselblad when he went to space. Perhaps I should be a Neil Armstrong wannabe. Besides that, it doesn't matter if my Hassie weighs a ton anyway since weight is irrelevant in outer space.

I rush to the airport... As fast as I possibly can... You call me every 5 minutes.

'Where are you?'

'Where are you?'

'Where are you?'

'Where are you?'

'Where are you?'

'Where are you?'

I am 10 minutes away from the airport.

'I'm leaving without out, the plane takes off in 5 minutes... you should just book yourself on the next available flight...'

I see your plane, an Air Siberia Antonov Il-86 flying off into the heavy dark sky. As it penetrate the clouds, the sky breaks and a torrential rain sets free.

I arrive at the airport and immediately enquires about the next available flight. The ticketing agent tells me the next flight leaves only next week. I cannot believe my luck. The rocketship leaves in 2 days... there is no way I can possibly board a flight next week.

The ticketing agents pulls me to the side 'How bad you need to get to Irkutsk?', 'Very' I say....

'For 200 dollars... this is for you only... I think you're a likeable chap... I'll put you in a twin otter that leaves in 30 minutes. I don't know how long it will take to get there... it is a twin otter if you know what I mean.'

I really like twin otters, if anything, flights on twin otters are something I romantisize. But is it possible to fly to Siberia in a twin otter.

I weigh my options only to realize that there are none.

to be continued...

Hi!

Would you like some 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510
Perhaps you might want to give it a try?

Whoa

Someone stop the room please...
I'd like to get off now.

Membaca Kafka Di Amerika

Prelude To A Haiku

I want to go around and shoot photos blindly
I want to make art that makes no sense at all
I want to sing meaningless songs
I want to generate absurd analogies
I want to write haikus as obscure as a black chimpanzee on a moonless night

Here we go...

Nothing important
It doesn't matter anymore
Electric blender

A Million Little Pieces

I really couldn't be bothered with picking them up anymore...

Tick! Tock!

tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock

tock tick!

Start/Stop

Am I going to begin to deal with this?

I should start somewhere... What about here?

ps: Perhaps I will slowly unfold this as I do with my photos from the states.

pps: Maybe tomorrow

Vomit Blood!

Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen! Tensen!

Vomit Blood...

Alas...

I'm hungry
I pass by McDonalds

Alas... why bother?
Without you Chicken McNuggets will taste like cardboard.

Tell me...
What should I blog about

ps: the exent of which I am feeling right now is most unnatural

Toni Kasim

Toni...
Sorry I did not come to see you
I seriously thought you were going to get well
How foolishly optimistic I am

Sorry I did not gather the strength to see you when you were sick. I don't think I can... you were always so strong, you've always given me strength... To see you any other way, is unthinkable.

Now you're up somewhere... and I'm here in DC.

I'll grief and mourn from a distance.

Siri Amerika Syarikat Bahasa Melayu 1

Aku sekarang berada di bandaraya Washington DC. Tempat ini merupakan ibu negara Amerika Syarikat, sebuah negara yang masyur dengan pelbagai tarikan seperti tugu tugu peringatan, rancangan televisyen, teksi-teksi, peperangan, ketua ketua negara, dan donut. Malah, adalah dipercayai bahawa donut merupakan ciptaan orang Amerika.

Satu lagi makanan yang tidak kurang masyurnya (dan dipercayai lebih mashur dari donut) adalah hotdog. Hotdog di Amerika Syarikat kebanyakannya diperbuat dari daging lembu. Oleh itu, para muslimam dan muslimat yang tidak risau untuk memakan makanan katok tidak perlu berasa was was. Katok kerana kemungkinan besar lembu itu tidak dibacakan doa doa yang berkenaan apabila ia disembelihkan. Saya tidak pasti, biasanya saya tahu jika ia halal dengan melihat cop 'halal' yang diluluskan jais.

Walaubagaimanapun, terdapat juga hotdog yang diperbuat dari daging babi. Saya suka hotdog babi. Bagi saya, babi itu adalah daging yang paling sedap di dunia. Saya suka babi. Babi itu sedap. Babi suka saya. Tapi saya tak sesedap babi. Maaf, saya sudah terlajur. Tujuan nukilan ini bukan untuk bercerita mengenai babi... sepatutunya diceritakan pengalaman saya di Amerika Syarikat.

Walaupun begitu, saya ingin memohon maaf. Alangkah sayangnya, saya berasa sungguh penat dan sudah tidak larat. Oleh itu, saya sudah malas nak menaip di papan kekunci...

Jumpa lagi di hari yang lain...

Pontification

Today, I invented a word.

Pontification (Pawn-Tea-Fee-Kay-Syen) = A divine accumulation.
Example = You are so clever, you are the pontification of all knowledge.
Origin = none.

Ahhh, I am totally the pontification of all things absurd. I am such a cunning linguist.

Selected Thoughts From The Mind Of chi too

Thunderstorms on a clear morning sky
The sun explodes
With rain that corrodes
Alas, it eats up your clothes.

For K

off

/

you

?

Here

(This post is supposed to be there)

Don't Park At Cineleisure : A Pointless Rant

Too much happened to me over the past couple of weeks. I'm feeling overwhelmed by all the drama that have taken place. I have many legitimate rants to bitch about. Many that is of actual significance and consequence.

Unfortunately/Fortunately (cross out irrelevant field) this is not a blog for significant rants.

Fortunately for you, something completely insignificant happened to me that really pissed me off. So much so that it warrants a post in this blog.

Warning : the following post contains testimonies of actual events.

Tonight I'm going to watch Ironman in Cineleisure, so I try to park my car in Cineleisure (that's quite a no brainer).

My car enters level LG, makes one round... no parking.

My car enters B1, makes one round... no parking.

My car tries to enter B2, closed... makes another round in B1.

No parking.

My car makes another round in B1... no parking.

Another... another... another... another...

No parking!

15 minutes have past. I decide to get the hell out.

I put my unpaid token into the machine believing that there should be a grace period... the machine says 'unpaid token'. I press the intercom for attention.

No answer... traffic builds up behind me.

1 minute later, a parking attendant approaches my car. I tell him there is no parking. He tells me that I have to pay. I say should not have to pay since I did not park.

He insists that I pay since I entered the carpark and there's plenty of parking. I tell him I intended to park, not to drive around the carpark.

Traffic builds up. He tells me that I have to pay.

'I wasted 15 minutes, wasted petrol, you did not put up a sign that says 'full', you closed one level of parking, and you've completely ruined my mood... and now you want me to pay? NO!'

He raises his voice and insists that I drive to the side and make way for traffic behind me.

I turn off my engine and take my keys off my ignition... 'What are you going to do now?' I asks him.

Pissed off, he reluctantly waves his card over the machine and raise the barrier. He tells me to never come back again.

'Fuck Off', verily, I say to him. I drive off.

I'm not very proud of that. Never have I ever in my life swore to a worker before. But then again...

Stupidity is intolerable... but when mixed with arrogance, is sacrilegious.

Moral Of The Story : Don't park in Cineleisure.

Would it be acceptable for vegetarians to eat animal shaped biscuits?

Yummmmm... Horse...

Ayam Beg

Sometimes I think my blog is quite funny, but not in a humorous way.

Unless if you like sick humor.

ps: Happy 'chi too is back in peninsular Malaysia' day to you too.