Raise Your Flag!

A Bernama reporter asked me today...

Reporter : Rasanya kenapa tak ramai orang yang menerbangkan bendera Malaysia? (translation : Why do you think people don't raise the Malaysian flag?)

I stare at him blankly...

me : Don't ask questions that leads to answers that you will not be allowed to broadcast.

Selamat Hari Merdeka... I leave you with this...

Plagiarism Pleasures : Wisdom From Ricky Gervais

How do we know that?

We don't. Stupid, isn't it? No it isn't. Why not? I don't know. Do you? Ha! Not so clever now, are you? You will be when you've read this book. You'll know everything. That'll be good, won't it? Not, it won't, because there'll be nothing left to learn, and learning is great, so that will be sad. So i'd stop reading this book now...

I told you to stop reading. You've got a lot to learn.

You'd better read on.

Ricky Gervais,
More Flanimals

Fucking repulsive
Another goddamned haiku
I will vomit blood

ps: my performance was stellar, the execution... flawless. Where's my bloody award?

Aku Rasa Macam Pukimak

Aku rasa macam pukimak
Tak usah cerita.

A Fortuneteller Told Me

Down the wrong sidewalk
A fortuneteller told me
'You are so fucked up'

Sunday Night Haiku

I like soto mee
The taste lingers in my mouth
Please get the fuck out

ps: I don't mean to be mean to you but somehow I can't help but to project my anger at you. Please forgive me. Sorry, but I will keep doing this to you.

Selected Essays From The Study Of Post Future Theories By chi too (chapter 4)

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Selected Essays From The Study Of Post Future Theories By chi too (chapter 3)

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Selected Essays From The Study Of Post Future Theories By chi too (chapter 2)

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June Rubis Should Buy chi too A Box Of Godiva Chocolates

Join the 'June Rubis should buy chi too a box of Godiva chocolates' facebook group now!

Selected Essays From The Study Of Post Future Theories By chi too (chapter 1)

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I Hate Metaphysical Dilemmas

Chances are that there is an afterlife... but that could only mean that there is a possibility that there is no afterlife.

That can only mean that this life is all we get. What happens then when we die? Do we simply cease to exist? And what happens when simply cease to exist? The irony to that question would be the simple answer which is 'nothing happens at all'

And when nothing happens at all, what then happens?

For days now I've been attempting to imagine how does it feel to not exist. A foolish futile attempt at feeling something that cannot be felt.

It is far from 'Oh I feel like nothing now...' cause feeling like nothing is still feeling something... which is nothing. But what would pure nothingness feel or not feel like.

I can close my eyes and imagine a pure colossal void, but I would still be feeling something. I will feel like I am closing my eyes imagining a pure colossal void.... sigh...

The absence of presence, the presence of absence... it makes no sense at all.

Perhaps then, dying would not be such a bad thing. Its just pure nothingness.

What then is the essence of this nothingness.

ps: For the first time (and probably the only time), I am posting a photo of myself on this blog. Just in case if I suddenly cease to exist.

I like...

Orangina
It makes my tongue tingle as the fizzy orange goodness rides down my throat.

Maybe you'll like some Orangina too?

I thought of you today. Not that I want to, but they made me do it.

I listen to Yumeji's Theme from In The Mood For Love

Goodnight...

Slowly creeping down my hallway.
Nimble and graceful, light as the darkness.
Butoh dancers tuck me to sleep tonight

Random Lines Intersecting At Random Points Drawn With Varying Intensity With Ink On Napkin

Ink on napkin (2008)

Educational Fieldtrip to Outer Space (part one)

"My Hasselblad or the FM2?"

I ask myself as I pack my bags for my trip to outer space. You call me on the telephone to remind me that our flight to Irkutsk leaves soon... I should be at the airport. Our rocketship awaits us there... in the god forsaken tundras of Irkutsk, where it will thrust its mighty engines and push us beyond the brim of our atmosphere.

I'm undecided. But I'm sure that I should only bring one camera. My Hasselblad will let me take mighty amazing medium format photos in outer space. Surely a photo of the earth shot only with a Hasselblad would be able to accord it its much deserved awe and wonder. However, my FM2 is much lighter and would allow me 36 photos per roll as opposed to 12 on the Hassie (as I affectionately call my Hasselblad). Surely, those extra frames would come in handy. Who knows, it's not everyday that one gets to visit outer space.

Ringggggggg! Ringggggggg! you call again

"Hurry, the plane leaves in an hour? Where are you? You're not even checked in yet? Are you still fiddling with your cameras?" you say.

I choose...

Hassie, FM2, Hassie, FM2, Hassie, FM2, Hassie, FM2...

Ah what the hell! My Hassie it shall be. I'll just take less photos... but I'll be damn sure that they'll be fucking impressive photos. Well, Neil Armstrong used a Hasselblad when he went to space. Perhaps I should be a Neil Armstrong wannabe. Besides that, it doesn't matter if my Hassie weighs a ton anyway since weight is irrelevant in outer space.

I rush to the airport... As fast as I possibly can... You call me every 5 minutes.

'Where are you?'

'Where are you?'

'Where are you?'

'Where are you?'

'Where are you?'

'Where are you?'

I am 10 minutes away from the airport.

'I'm leaving without out, the plane takes off in 5 minutes... you should just book yourself on the next available flight...'

I see your plane, an Air Siberia Antonov Il-86 flying off into the heavy dark sky. As it penetrate the clouds, the sky breaks and a torrential rain sets free.

I arrive at the airport and immediately enquires about the next available flight. The ticketing agent tells me the next flight leaves only next week. I cannot believe my luck. The rocketship leaves in 2 days... there is no way I can possibly board a flight next week.

The ticketing agents pulls me to the side 'How bad you need to get to Irkutsk?', 'Very' I say....

'For 200 dollars... this is for you only... I think you're a likeable chap... I'll put you in a twin otter that leaves in 30 minutes. I don't know how long it will take to get there... it is a twin otter if you know what I mean.'

I really like twin otters, if anything, flights on twin otters are something I romantisize. But is it possible to fly to Siberia in a twin otter.

I weigh my options only to realize that there are none.

to be continued...

Hi!

Would you like some 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510
Perhaps you might want to give it a try?

Whoa

Someone stop the room please...
I'd like to get off now.

Membaca Kafka Di Amerika