In support of 16 Days Of Activism. I'm too lazy to tell you what it is about, click on the link above to find out.

I Need Another Hug

May I?

Please...

thank you.

A Sneeze For Love

I've been on hiatus... sorry.
Wait a minute, I am not sorry.
There are times when words fail me.
Very often I can't tell you what I see.

Here's a post that have been sitting in my 'draft' folder from since before I went to Sarawak. Enjoy

Once again, I've failed to resist the temptation to visit the Paradise Forest weblog. Over the past couple of days, I've been yearning to sit on the bow of the banana boat as it skims above the tranquil surface of Lake Murray. Staring into an infinite horizon, soon, the incessant whir of the engine manned by Murray (the bestest boat driver in the world) begin to fade and blend with the silence of the atmosphere, interupted only by my thoughts... which I sometimes utter aloud. Shhh... it's so quiet, my thoughts seems so loud that I often find myself failing to distinguish between what is on my mind and what I speak... confusion sets in as I find myself uttering my deepest innermost thoughts and keeping to myself the things I ought to tell others. Shhhh.... I yearn once again for this solitude... to escape all that is full of shit since everything is so fucking absurd and the idiots that surrounds me are all useless and god why can't I just put all these people in a box and ship them to afghanistan maybe i should watch tv tonight maybe i should get some coffee oh I love you please don't leave me I promise I'll be good to you maybe yes maybe not maybe we can make things better again...

Opps... did I just think aloud? sorry, that wasn't meant for your eyes. Anyway, as I was looking at the Paradise Forest Weblog, I read this post by Grant Rosoman (GP forest campaigner)... It made my day, maybe it will do the same to you too...

A sneeze for love
Posted by Grant, forest solutions campaigner

A Melanesian custom that I've come across here at Lake Murray, in other parts of PNG and also in the Solomon Islands is: when you sneeze it means someone who loves you is thinking of you.

It's such a wonderful thought and feeling!

So I now welcome sneezes when they come, as they join me to my family who are far away from Lake Murray. I've encouraged everyone else at the GFRS to take this custom on board as well

This Is So Fucking Absurd no. 02

This is so fucking absurd
This is so fucking absurd
This is so fucking absurd

I needed to buy flight tickets. SInce I don't feel like bothering my sister for her credit card to book online, and since I have plenty of time at hand; I decided to buy them over the counter.

This is so fucking absurd
This is so fucking absurd
I make no attempt to hide from you that this will eventually lead to tragedy.

I went... I pressed the queue number generating machine and my number reads... "336".
I wait, It can't take that long... The number on the display says 219. The time on my clock says 2:55 pm
I wait...
I wait...

This is so fucking absurd
This is so fucking absurd
This is so fucking absurd

The time on my clock reads 3:15 pm, the number on the display reads 225. "It really won't take that long" I tell myself. On a scale of 1-10, my optimism reads 6899.

This is remotely absurd
This is remotely absurd
This is remotely absurd

I wait...
I wait...
I wait... 3:30 PM

I make my way to Starbucks. I tell myself I'll drink a cup of coffee and explore the big big universe of cyber space.
A short latte' with one pack of raw sugar... just the way I like it. Amazingly, it was a really good latte', a rarity in Starbucks.

Lo and behold, my favourtie geek buddy, the venerated Tiara Maskara, the Maori queen from the land of sheep and friscian cows appear online.

We chatted and we chatted and we chatted.

The time says 4:15 PM.

"I gotta go now, I think my turn is up"

It's quite absurd
It's quite absurd
It's quite absurd

I return... the counter says '290 something'

Sigh...

This is remotely absurd
This is remotely absurd
This is remotely absurd

I return to Starbucks... but without a cup of coffee at hand, I sat on a bench from a slight distance...
The airport reception on my mac is weak...well, I can't complain, I'm stealing a signal.

"Hi, I am back"

We launch video conferencing... I can't hear shit, she can't hear anything. We saw each other and exhanged compliments on how good the other person looks. I'd like to believe that when she says 'you look really good', she really means it; but when I said that... I really did mean it.

Tiara Maskara showed me her daughter... she looks really good. I think she will be worried when her daughter grows up since she would probably look really good. She would have a problem keeping the boys at bay.

We can't hear shit...
The pictures are jerky
Oh...This can't be.

This is so fucking absurd
This is so fucking absurd
This is so fucking absurd

I closed the video conference
It is giving me a headache.
The sight of myself in video.
Sort of makes me sick.

I returned to the counter again.
I checked the number.
I returned to the counter again.
I checked the number.
I returned to the counter again.
I checked the number

I want to vomit blood

This is so fucking absurd
This is so fucking absurd
This is so fucking absurd

I finally returned for one last time and my turn is six numbers to go.

5:20 PM... "336"

"Hello, how are you today, I would like to book the following flights for the following days...yadayadayadayadayada"

Total amount... RM XXX

This is so fucking absurd
This is so fucking absurd
This is so fucking absurd

"But that is so much more than when I checked online an hour ago"

"If you want it cheap, you'll have to book it online"

Uncontrollable rage.... hyperventilates.

"You mean to tell me that you make me wait for more than 2 hours and then you want me to pay so much more."

Uncontrollable rage.... hyperventilates.

"Well, it is your choice. If you choose to buy over the counter."

Uncontrollable rage... hyperventilates... walks away... forget about it.

This is so fucking absurd. This is so fucking absurd. This is so fucking absurd. This is so fucking absurd. This is so fucking absurd. This is so fucking absurd. This is so fucking absurd. This is so fucking absurd. This is so fucking absurd. This is so fucking absurd. This is so fucking absurd. This is so fucking absurd. This is so fucking absurd. This is so fucking absurd. This is so fucking absurd. This is so fucking absurd. This is so fucking absurd. This is so fucking absurd. This is so fucking absurd. This is so fucking absurd. This is so fucking absurd. This is so fucking absurd. This is so fucking absurd. This is so fucking absurd. This is so fucking absurd. This is so fucking absurd. This is so fucking absurd. This is so fucking absurd. This is so fucking absurd. This is so fucking absurd. This is so fucking absurd. This is so fucking absurd. This is so fucking absurd. This is so fucking absurd.

Such is the world I live in.... I cannot afford a credit card, therefore I buy over the counter with cash.

Is this how it works... "Since you're too poor to afford a credit card, we're going to make you wait for hours on end. No! we don't need to give you seats while you wait. You'll wait for hours on end and then we'll charge you much more for your ticket. Well, someones gotta pay extra... If you don't, whose going to subsidize the cheap tickets that are purchased by rich people with credit cards. Hey... It's not my fault that you're poor."

Ahhh...21st century commercial imperialist mantra 'Steal from the poor and give to the rich".

I hyperventilate. I call effasyafizadesa. I bitch on end. I hyperventilate.

effasyafizadesa: "breathe slwoly, breathe slowly... take slow deep breaths"

This is so fucking absurd
This is so fucking absurd
This is so fucking absurd

I stop breathing altogether.


warning: not breathing may result in dying.

How To Survive An Airlines PNG Flight...

As the plane flies across the lake, my heart was filled with meloncholy as I leave everything, and everyone at the lake behind; knowing that any chance of returning is as remote as the chances of getting a pack of dingoes to babysit a toddler.

I look out my window... Sigh...

I look at my front seat pocket... and find this...



Papua New Guinea has one of the best pilots in the world. For a country as small as PNG, they have about 800 airstrips and airports that are in active service... If you include the ones that are inactive, there are almost 2000 of them. Given the inpenetrable terrain, flying is obviously the vehicle of choice. However one can never be too cautious.





As you can see, it says 'please do not remove card from aircraft'. Unfortunately, my itchy fingers got the better of me. With no flight attendants and the pilots fully concentrated on what's ahead of them (so I would like to believe), slipping this card into my bag was as simple as "(insert really bad 'stealing' analogy here)".

I however take my hats off to Amele (FPCD forester) who managed to defy the following rule...



Well, he didn't really defy the rule, he just found a loophole. It says 'no spitting bettlenut', well... he merely kept chewing without spitting, no one said 'no chewing'. But what's really amazing is that for 4 hours, he did not spit... for those of you in the dark, chewing bettlenut sends your saliva glands working overtime. I couldn't last 10 seconds without spitting. Amele, yu trupelah man.

- this blog entry is dedicated to all Global Forest Rescue Station volunteers of Lake Murray, Papua New Guinea. Lukautim bus nah lukautim arse bilong yu,

One Desire

Tonight I have one desire
That is to dream beautifully
While I lull in saturated slumber
Would you please pray for me.

I Wish...

I wish Mahathir would shut up.

I wish the press would start asking Mahathir, 'What about when you turned Malaysia into a police state'.

I wish the crime beat police could be half as effecient as the political beat police.

I wish I can write this without the fear of having the political beat police reading this.

I wish I can stop fearing the political beat police.

I wish I can stop fearing.

I wish I can stop wishing.