Me: I think I need to lose weight, of late, everyone has been telling me that I've put on a lot of weight.
You: No, don't... you are perfect the way you are. If you lose weight you won't be chi too.
Me: So, what you are saying is that I should remain unattractive and overweight, thus depleting my chances of attracting members of the opposite sex, just so that you can maintain a perfect romantised ideal of who I am. And not to mention, the potential dangers of cardiovascular diseases. You want me to deal with all these nonsense just because you want me to remain the way you perceive me as being perfect... not to mention your secret fixation with chubby men despite yourself being a highly attractive and intelligent individual (though this would mean nothing since all I am attracted to is your potential to make vast amounts of money from your profession in the future)*.
You: Oh... sorry... lose some weight then... But not too much, not too a point where chi too becomes unrecognizable.
Me: It's a shame you're Muslim, I so want to eat Hokkien Mee with extra pork lard with you right now.
*Yes, it's true, in real life, I can actually speak within a parenthesis. Sometimes I can even speak in capital letters too.
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