Revolusi Karapas

An open letter to my fellow turtleniks.

dear friends and friends of friends,

I come to you with urgent pressing matters. We need to kick some sense into the head of a certain Kamarudin Ibrahim, who over the past couple of years has been one of the biggest threaths to turtle conservation in Malaysia. Allow me to explain myself, why am I so harsh on this man? For one, he leads the Turtle and Marine Ecosystem Centre (TUMEC), the leading turtle and marine conservation agency in the country.

This man as it appears to me has been living in complete denial and disillusionment in regards to the status of the leatherback turtles, and it seems that he has made 'reviving leatherback turtles' a personal agenda. Recently, he has refuted a UN reported that states the leatherback turtle being 'effectively extinct', unable to understand what it means by effectively extinct, he claims that they are merely critically endangered since there were 5 landings this year. It is appaling that a man of his calibre is unable to crunch the figures and trends that would categorize the leatherbacks as being effectively extinct.

Being the head honcho of turtle conservation in the country, this man poses a threat where he can potentially drain the country's turtle conservation resources in his personal mission to revive the leatherback turtle population, which is clearly an exercise in futility. However, as long as this man is still in office, he will still churn out multi million dollar plans of penal colonies, turtle cloning, illegal turtle egg trading, and etcetra (and i say etcetra because he can potentially come up with more absurd and mind blowing ideas).

My response to this, as turtleniks, I say we try to unseat this Kamarudin through 'Revolusi Karapas'. No, I'm not asking you to take up arms, you just need to take up pen and paper and write letters to the editors. Yesterday, our dear friend Hillary Chiew wrote a wonderful front page article regarding this matter, which provided a wonderful window of oppurtnity for us to respond. Click on the following link and its related links:

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2006/8/13/nation/15130343&sec=nation

If possible, everyone should click on it and read the article. What happens is, when the story records a substantial amount of hits, the editors will begin to relize that turtle stories do matter and may put up more of them in the future. That way, victories and atrocities (especially those of you know who) of turtle conservation will be reported more often in newspapers.

I urge all SEATRU volunteers to do this, read the article, analyze and understand it and write your opinions to the editors of various newspapers, especially the star. If there are things that you do not understand, I encourage you to seek clarification from Prof Chan personally. Send your letters to:

editor@thestar.com.my

(Please Note! Letters to the Editor must carry the sender's full name, address, telephone number and e-mail address for authentication. A pseudonym may be included. Letters may be edited for clarity, objectivity, brevity and other requirements. We will only publish letters addressed exclusively to The Editor of The Star.)

additionally send them also to:

letters@nstp.com.my
chenghai@thesundaily.com
bhsurat@bharian.com.my
online@utusan.com.my

and if any of you has the emails for the chinese press editors, do share.

It is a great loss that we should give up on the leatherback turtle, but sometimes, when enough mistakes are made... life must go on. We need to urge those in power to learn from these mistakes and apply this knowledge to the other turtle species that stands a chance.

May you have a good day ahead and may there be a future where turtles can thrive and be happy turtles.

Ada Apa Dengan Lebanon?

For those of you who are in the dark about what the hell Israel is all about... Here's George Galloway on what's going on with Lebanon. Galloway was the Labour Party MP who accused the Labour Party to be full of shit in regards to the Iraq invasion back in 2003. Fucking brilliant.
Enjoy

Gather The Wind

Today I will rip someone's work off and post an English translation for my favourite Japanese song. Much thanks to Kyoko for explaining what 'Kaze Wo Atsemete' means. That's the title of the song, which means 'Gather The Wind'. Enjoy.

Kaze Wo Atsemete (Gather The Wind), by Happy End

As I was walking down a towering alley
In the outskirts of the city
I saw beyond the blotched fog
A streetcar still sluggish from sleep
Crossing over the sea

So, I gathered the wind (under my wings),
Gathered the wind (under my wings)
And ran across the blue sky

As I passed through a beautiful sunrise
I saw beyond the empty-looking breakwater
A city with its day-colored sails up
Moored in the port

So, I gathered the wind (under my wings),
Gathered the wind (under my wings)
And ran across the blue sky

When I was killing time one morning
At an empty coffee shop
I saw through the cracked glass
The rustling of the high-rises' silken clothes
Brushing on the sidewalk

So, I gathered the wind (under my wings),
Gathered the wind (under my wings)
And ran across the blue sky

Unbecoming High School Behaviour

While hanging around at Starbucks after Rhapsody's brilliant performance, I can't resist the urge to enhance my dear friend KJ's beautiful face. If only I can penetrate police barricade in such manner without being beaten to pulp. Kudos KJ! It pays to be the prime minister's son in law.

Hikayat Hari-Harian Di Hari Rabu

Hari ini, aku membeli sebuku roti dan sebuku sabun. Di samping itu, saya juga ada membaca buku.
Di waktu makan tengahari ku bakarkan roti itu, bersama setin sup jagung ku panaskan. Ku juga bancuh segelas air ribena.
Ku celupkan roti bakar ke dalam sup jagung yang panas. Roti yang dibakar lembik diselaputi sup jagung.
Ku makan roti itu...
Panas, sup jagung membakar mulutku.
Ku paksakanya ke perutku...
Tekak ku membara.
Panas!
Ku telan seteguk air ribena yang sejuk.
Sejuk!
Kelegaan terasa, namun tekak masih membara.
Mulut ku bercelaru.
Panas! Sejuk! Panas! Sejuk!
Lambat laun semuanya menjadi suam.
Sesudu sup ku dekatkan ke mulut... ku tiup... 'fuuuu... fuuuu...'
Biarkannya suam agar lidah tak melecur.
Sup jagung suam. Roti bakar disapu mentega, sekeping keju menjadi teman.
Air ribena menjadi penawar.
Suam... semuanya suam, selamat dijamu.
Namun,
Tidak sesedap bilanya panas.
Kalau nak panaskan ku terasa malas... walaupun jika hanya di ketuhar gelombang mikro.
Ku malas... ku makan sahaja apa yang suam walaupun kurang sedap.
Lambat laun, sup jagung, roti bakar, dan air ribena kehabisan juga.
Rasa kenyang di perut...
Namun di hati...

I Think I'll...

(disappear)

I appear,

I (disappear),

I appear,

I (disappear),

I appear,

I (disappear),

I appear,

I (disappear),

I appear...

I think I'll stay.

Put On Ye Gay Apparel

I was going through my emails to see what I can delete and found this rather interesting one which was my response to this dude's blog (who in some way is a 'pseudo' religious christian fundamentalist). He was having a debate on whether homosexuality was a case of 'nature' or 'nurture'. Below is my email response to him (who unfortunately is homophobic). Read with caution. And in case you're wondering... yes, I am gay, but gay as in how folks in the olden times would express as 'happy'.

"I'd say rather... don't you reckon the weather's pretty gay today"

Yes, for the very first time I shall openly discuss my sexuality in my blog and my stand on it. For many it is a mystery. It is complexed as hell, but it can be summed in 3 points:
- straight people think i'm gay
- gay people knows i'm straight
- some lesbians would consider me lesbian

In any way, my friend Mien (who produced my latest short film 'while you were eating', and is in the midst of directing her own 'KL Menyanyi') summarizes it best... 'the gayest straight person ever'.

There you go, proof that any attempt to categorize people is an exercise in futily. The world is too much of a kaleidoscope for people to be pigeon-holed. Thank god.

Anyway, enough about that, here's my response to the pseudo religious fundamentalist homophobic dude (did I just contradict myself?). Enjoy.

___________________________

dear (name withheld),

strange that i should stumble into your blog while you here talking about this whole 'nature vs. nurture' thing. i am no psychologist, neither am i a psychiatrist (though i really should go make appointments with the latter), so don't expect a scientific whatchamajigga explanation. (and since it is by sheer chance that i stumble upon this site at such a time, i feel obliged to respond since it's another instance when the universe conspires to make me do things.)

however, i am a humanist... and being a humanist i feel that this whole 'nature vs. nurture' thing is a really just a theory the 'conservatives' developed just so that they can justify their assertions of what is right and wrong with the world today. It gives us a platform (i say 'us' because i am part of this big human race as well) to debate human conditions; sexuality, intelligence, behaviour, talent, skills, ability, taste in music (i would like to believe that people are born to love listening to 'blue', 'backstreet boys', 'spice girls', etc. there is no way someone can be nurtured into enjoying such a horrific din) and sometimes stupidity (ironically, since the sum of such discussions very often equates to that).

'oh, must be because of bad parenting', 'oh, maybe s/he wasn't breastfed as a child', 'oh, maybe we've accidentally dropped him/her when s/he was a baby', 'oh, you really should let him/her listen to mozart during the 2nd trimester of your pregnancy', '

well does it really matter what the reasons are? whether we are born with it, or if we picked it up while we're growing up. we can all go get 500 kids to watch a tarantino film, 500 to watch 'pocahantas', and another 500 to just stare at a blank wall; then put them up against a machine where they can send electrical shocks to a person across them room. you'll get some of the kids are just plain nasty, some are just plain nice... some get infuenced, some get catharsised. wow, biggest discovery of the 21st century 'we discovered that a percentage of the children who were watching the tarantino film kept pushing the button, but so did some of the pocahantas kids, and strangely, a big percentage of the kids who were made to stare at the wall pushed the button a lot... however, we would like to conclude that violence in television do cause violence is some kids, and our solution to the problem is to knock down walls at home since the kids who were staring into them became more violent'.

what was my point? why did i dig a hole all the way to china? i really do not know, but that's the whole point.. there is no point in this entire debate. but it you want a point, i'll give you a point. here you go:

.

however, i do have a solution to this debate. and i suggest that we start embracing this world that is filled with leftist, rightist, intelligent, stupid, straight, gay, lesbian, happy, melancholic, sad, maschosit, sane, insane, fruedian, jungian, semite, anti-semite, neo-conservative, liberal, pro thanksin, anti thaksin, popular, un-popular, geek, listens to bjork, listens to blue, and a whole long list that probably streches to china and back. And of course, the list includes pro-nature, and pro-nurture.
whatever it is, i suggest that we start embracing this world and give thanks for it, cause if the day should come that all of humanity should posses a desirable uniform characteristic (regardless of how righteous it should be), then i'll embrace scientology to get my ticket on a space ship to get out of this boring planet.

are theories reliable? i think they do serve some sort of a purpose. are they true? well not entirely... they do have some purpose for existence. however, i don't and have never feared that my father keeps a knife just so that he can castrate me if i ever feel like making a move to my mother (no i don't suffer from oedipus complexity, and i don't think anyone does, however, i do believe that freud is deeply in love with his mother). theories are fun, they're good to know, but i choose to not let it explain and justify my actions and behaviour.

one last suggestion, i reckon we should all hold hands one day and watch the 'we are the world' video. and that concludes my 2 quids worth ( i like to believe that my opinions are worth more than 2 cents. ps: i'm not the most humble person alive). good night, may you have some strange funky psychedelic dreams tonight.

chow,
chi too

live like you'll die tomorrow, learn like you'll live forever - mohandas k. gandhi.

Apa Dah Jadi?

I've been away for a week... Unfortunately in Chagar Hutang there is no newspapers, no internet, nothing... even me and honey star's smoke signals don't work. I returned home reading news of events that have brewed around the country and the world with no idea of what the hell actually happened.

For starters, Khairy Jamaluddin, whom I affectionately address as KJ says he'll step down if he needs to. It would be quite nice if he does... though I have no idea why he needs to step down... All I know is that this is the dude who get police permits to organize unpeaceful peace demonstrations. UMNO mah, what to do...fucker (said in a very 'ah beng' tone). Well, he gets to burn flags, force his way through police barricades, and do whatever the fuck he wants to, and no cop would dare to lay a baton on him. Unlike old farts like Mahathir who gets peppered in the eye for no reason... ahh, savouring the moment. So much for peace demos when all you do is create more enemies. Well, I reckon there are perks in being the Prime Minister's son in law.

Secondly, RELA members apparently torched an Achenese refugee settlement after treating them in a high handed manner... like what the hell. Mind you, these are UNHCR refugees with proper papers... gila babi. Which reminds me of a brief encounter with a certain member of this pseudo-militia band of rag tag civilians. I was at a gig organised by CIJ at Central Market... I was watching Peter Hassan Brown from a comfortable distance where roght next to me was a RELA personnel managing pedestrian traffic at the entrance... Basically all he did was to wield his baton and tell people to not to block the entrance to CM. Of course, he was weilding his baton proudly and was being a complete jackass at it. I'm like... do you really need someone to make sure no body blocks an entrance? I think they should be put to better use... make them put new coats of paints on orphanages, or pick up trash on sidewalks, or whatever... at least have them serve some purpose in society. So I approached him and asked him with much audacity... "Excuse me, I'm just wondering... what does it take to be a RELA member yeah?" he looked at me and turned away. And from that I learned that stupidity is the most critical requirement. In my opinions, I think these bunch of fuckers need to be disbanded.

You may realize that I am fucking using a lot of fucking profanity today... What the fuck? Well, that would have to do with my third fucking discovery upon my return. Apparently Jeff Ooi pissed someone off in his blog and there are talk about the internet, especially blogs being regulated and censored. Well, fuck you, you can fucking censor this. Some parties claim that although freedom of expression is important, one must learn to be mature about what to put up in a blog as to not to incite hatred and dissident among the population. In my opinions, readers need to exercise maturity and choose what they want to read about instead of complaining about all this trash that's on the internet. Censor your own intake of media and information and leave us content creators to ourselves. It appears to me that there is a lack of maturity among the users and creators of content in this country are unable to disagree with civility on things that they don't agree with. I think people need to learn to agree to disagree. So what, if I tell you now to go shoot KJ, RELA members, and those who wants internet censorship... would you do so. OK.. not if, I'm telling you now to go shoot them. Are you going to shoot them? I doubt it. But if I read in the news some time in the future that these people got shot, should I be held responsible. Fuck... If you don't like my blog, go read someone else's blog.

After a one week absence, it seems like I had a lot to bitch about. Well... You've read this far, congratulations. Now if you can enlightened me on what exactly happened from 30th july to 6th august, I'll buy you a drink.

thankyouverymuchyou'refartookind.

While You Were Eating Premieres tonite!

To all my favourite people in the world...
'While You Were Eating', a morally incorrect film by chi too premieres tonight at Malaysian Shorts, 8PM HELP auditorium. A subsequent screening will be held in the Substation Art Festival in Singapore on September 12. Datanglah beramai ramai, there are 11 other shorts that will be premiering too. Sorry for the last minute notice, I was away and internet access was only regained today. See below for more info.
Thankyouverymucyou'refartookind

Kelab Seni Filem Malaysia presents
MALAYSIAN SHORTS

Monday, 7 August. 8pm.
HELP University auditorium, Pusat Bandar Damansara KL.

Entrance: FREE! No reservations entertained. Do come early to avoid sitting on the floor.

Enquiries: kancah2001@yahoo.com

The popular showcase of work by Malaysians is back! Slightly more than half of the directors are screening
for the first time here. Uniquely, many shorts this time around use no or very minimal dialogue. Most of the directors will be on hand to A your Qs afterwards. Vote for your 3 favourite shorts of the night!

12 Shorts (out of 26 entries) curated by Amir Muhammad.

1. LIE BENEATH by Margaret Bong (11min, in Mandarin) The story of Willy, a 12-year-old boy who returns to his hometown and meets his childhood friend Fo You. Willy tries to get Fo You’s attention by putting across his own idea of the 2004 tsunami tragedy that he saw on TV. Part of the Digital Tsunami Project, supported by the Thai Ministry of Culture. Shown at
festivals in Bangkok, HK, Singapore, Busan.

2. UNDER THE BRIDGE by Hardesh Singh (2 min, no
dialogue)
A suspense drama for the acrophobic.

3. BAVAM by ST Bala (10min, in Tamil)
Saraswati, a dancer, keeps her co-dancers and manager waiting. She shows up at the 11th hour. She puts on an excellent performance, but was actually haunted by the incident that had delayed her. After the dance, her manager queries her. She breaks down and explains. Shot on 35mm. "The film was inspired by my observation of a dancer on and off-stage, who despite facing personal problems, became a totally different person, a picture of calm and beauty."

4. WHILE YOU WERE EATING by Chi Too (4 min, English)
A double date with a twist.

5. COME AND GO by NA Halim Hassan (8 min, in English)
Three women reminisce about old school days. An adaptation of a playlet by Samuel Beckett.

6. OH MY GOAT! By Shan (7 min, no dialogue)
Do you know where your food comes from?


7. SATU MALAM ISNIN (One Monday Night) by Raja Azhar
(10min, in Malay)
Three friends get together. Two of them want to talk about music.

8. THE SLIDES SHOW by Aizil Azlee (2min, no dialogue)
This used to be my playground.

9. SHIIT! By Sasitharan Rajoo (7 min, English) ?
A traveller on the train from Spore to KL has the urge to use the toilet but problems ensue. Let it never be said that ‘Malaysian Shorts’ is such a highbrow event that there’s no space for old-fashioned scatology.


10. THE IDIOTS by Mohammad Alfie (8 min, Malay and English text)
Three idiots sit by the roadside doing their own thing. Along comes a family from the city warning them of a war heading their way. They do not comprehend, and so begins a series of events that show the effects of war on the most simple-minded of people. Final YearFilm Project for Akademi Seni Kebangsaan. Shot on 16mm.

11. THE PERFECT DATE by Dean C Ghazi (25 min, in English)
A tumultuous love story that considers the fullest extent of selfish, self-serving love. A skewed perception of achieving perfection in an imperfect relationship.

12. THE WAIT by Akashdeep Singh (7 min, in Malay)
What do you have to do to get some service around here?

Total Running Time: 100 min.

hello delayed...

If you're reading this... I'm probably away....

away in my favourite corner of the world, Chagar Hutang.



For an entire week, you'll be free of my hyperbolical ramblings...
But while you rest in that respite, I want you to know that I am enjoying myself on a restricted beach all to myself and a few people in some unknown corner in the world.

So if I don't see you...
Happy Monday,
Happy Tuesday,
Happy Wednesday,
Happy Thursday,
Happy Friday,
Happy Saturday,
Happy Sunday...

To see more of where I am... see 'Monsoon Conversations' in Gambarajah.

I love ya'll... I'll see you when I see you?



"hello...

Narcissistic Bastard no.1

I had to come up with a biography of myself to submit my film... so here's the latest one I whipped up a couple of minutes ago.

chi too is narcissistic bastard who thinks he can get away with making films like this. When he's not making films, chi too enjoys going to random places performing random acts with random people and beings. Currently, he works as a video editor to support and finance his dreams of becoming a filmmaker/photographer/writer/artist/environmentalist/ascetic. Do not mistaken his eccentricity as intelligence, he really is just plain nuts.

kenang-kenangan euforia

Here's the recollection of an euphoria.

On Sunday night I finally shot 'While You Were Eating', a short film that took one year in the making. Was it so monumental that it should take a year to complte? No, it was a relatively simple film, it's just that I was too bloody lazy to do something about it and has procrastinated for this long.

Much thanks to Mien Lor who gracefully accepted this job of producing the film, though I think she has some ulterior motives. Could it be that from here on I will be forever indebted to her; that I shall from here on obligingly serve as a scriptwriter, cinematographer, gaffer, best boy, runner, coffee lady, slave on whatever script that she throws at me. I doubt it, Mien is much nicer than that... and for that I bought her an Alice Walker book. "Much love and respect to you woman".

So, what the hell is 'While You Were Eating'... well, basically this idea was conceived almost 2 years ago. We shot it the other day with me as the writer and director. Prior to shooting it, I was nervous as hell. The clock was ticking, 10 hours to call time and everything seems to be going on smoothly... too smoothly if I must say. Alarm bells are ringing already, I've never experienced such a smooth pre production period before. On top of that, I've not directed a film for a year already... biting finger nails. And to add the cherry to the icing, I realized that 3 out of my 4 actors are involved or was involved in the film industry... biting fingers.

But then, when we finally rolled the cameras, my concerns proved to be unfounded. For the first time, it was actually true when it was too good to be true. Throughout the entire shoot, we had no problems with equipment; me and the cinematographer worked like clockwork; the entire crew had no problems at all; my actors, whom met each other 30 minutes before we rolled the camera had perfect chemistry; and most importantly, no one threw any dramatic fits... not even me, believe it or not.

The best bit was, I have to say that everyone on set had fun... This is one of those shoots where everyone would break out laughing when i call 'cut!'. However, this could have been due to the abundant supply of red wine. One of the scenes went like this...

me: for this scene, I need you to bottom the glass of wine
jon: no problems....
me: action!
me: cut!
later....
me: take 4, action!
me: cut!

... and that was only one lil scene, pretty much every scene involves drinking. So, I reckon the wine probably did its magic on set.

Ahhh... what more can I say (I can almost hear you, the reader, say... 'no more, no more'). I just want to extend all my love to my actors, anis, hannim, jon, and kenneth; my producer, mien; cinematographer, albert; and my trusty production assistant, koma. Without ya'll I'll just have to go look for someone else to do this... but someone else would probably not have rocked as much as you people.

It was 3 AM when we wrapped the shoot. Usually, when it is 3 AM I would be sleepy as hell (especially after a shoot), but I can't help but to have this grin on my face that was impossible to wipe off. Thanks guys, I love you all.



watch out for my new short film 'While You Were Eating' at a space near you. and I mean 'watch out' in a sense as in it may suddenly pounce on you.

flip flop flip flop flip

I really like slippers...
they go 'flip flop flip flop'
so long as i don't stop.

This incessant flip flop
resonates my steps
I can go on for laps...

flip
flop
flip flop

I walk foward

flop
flip
flop flip

I walk backwards

flip flip flip flip
to the left I go

flop flop flop flop
to the right I go

flip flop flip flop
flip flip flop flop
flop flop flip flip
flop flip flop flip
I end up where I began

Put on some slippers and come with me
we'll go flip flop flip flop
flip flop flip flop we'll go
we'll flip flop our way to a shop
I'll buy myself a brand new pair of shoes.

Meet The Murrays

It is finally here!
These are the photos I shot in Papua New Guinea. After 2 months, I'm finally done processing, printing, scanning, and uploading them. If i take any more longer, I reckon I'll have to submit them to the Papua New Guinean Archives.
Click on the image abobe or go to hyperbolica.blogspot.com . Enjoy.

a non-hello

I wanted to say 'hi'.

But instead...
I simply stood there.

I said 'hi'.

It was too late...
You weren't there.

A Rare Occurance

omigod! my phone just beeped!

yes it did... it really did.



Maybe yours will too...

More than 50 dogs and cats need to be adopted today

'stolen from the Star online'

KUALA LUMPUR: More than 50 dogs and cats at the Subang Jaya Municipal Council’s (MPSJ) animal pound in Puchong will be put down if they are not adopted by today.

Independent Pet Rescuers Malaysia is appealing to the public to adopt the animals and save them.

The adoption drive will be held today, from 9am to 4.15pm, at No 1, Jalan Utama, Taman Perindustrian Puchong Perdana (next to the Mariamman Hindu temple).

The animals were to have been put down on July 16 but Subang Jaya state assemblyman Datuk Lee Hwa Beng, who is also MPSJ councillor, had helped extended the deadline to give the rescuers more time to save the animals.

“I received a call from a Malay man who wished to remain anonymous, who said that Islam did not condone putting down animals, be they cats or dogs, and it was heartbreaking to see these animals being put to sleep,” said Lee.

Independent Pet Rescuers Malaysia volunteer Sherrina Krishnan said their main aim was to find good homes for the animals.

Sherrina, 36, said people abandoning animals or not having them neutered was the root of the problem.

“People think that taking their pets to be neutered is very expensive and a great hassle,” she said.

“It is actually much cheaper to neuter them at a local government veterinarian clinic than a private one. This can help reduce the problem of strays and abandoned pets as well.”

She said it was not cruel to neuter pets if one was not able to care for the pets' offspring.

“If they end up in a pound, the animals will be put down, unless a good soul adopts them,” she added.

The Independent Pet Rescuers also holds a pet adoption drive every Saturday at the Hartamas Shopping Centre. Those interested in adopting a pet can call Sherrina at 012-202 6384.

An Epiphany

I had an epiphany.
That's when you have an almost divine revelation...
When it strikes you with such clarity.
It leaves nothing to the imagination.
That's an epiphany.

I had an epiphany.
I blew it...
What shouldn't have could have had,
I wallowed...
Now it's gone bad.

Bad, bad, bad.
Like milk left in the sun,
Like this analogy that shouldn't have.
Bad, bad, bad.
Like this verse that refuses to rhyme.

Bad, Mad, Sad, and Fat,
They're all words that rhyme.
yet the cruel irony,
That's all I am.

Bad, Mad, Sad, and Fat...

Bad...
Mad...
Sad...
and Fat...

...
... ...
... ... ...
... ... ... ...

Congratulations.

Are Lizards Religious?: Results (01)

A few nights ago... in a drunken stupor (we'll never know), Cathy agreed to take on a qualitative research to find out if lizards are religious. Being the dedicated research assistant that she is, she diligently completed the job (despite the outcome not coming out the way it shhttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifould come out) with the minimal pay of 'board and lodging' when she's in Kuala Lumpur.
Below is the paper she wrote for the research, stolen with permission from her blog.

Be enlightened.


Research Study on Household Lizard in Hong Kong: Qualitative Study
by Cathy Chan

The research interest is raised by Chi-too. His hyposytheis is: the common household lizard comes to the ground every morning at 6 AM to be near the earth and pray.

Base on his non-study, he would like to carry out a cross-border research in Malaysia and HK. We would like to compare if the lizard comes to the ground every morning at 6am to be near the earth to pray or not, their practices and reason. We'd also analyze it after the comparasion.

Target: Household lizards x 20 in HK
Budget: one meal and one sleeping area

Result:
1) NO lizard can be found in household
I was conducting the research in Tsz Wan Shan in HK. It is a remote area in HK. I found 20 households but none of the family said they have lizard.

2) There are too many furniture for the lizards to come near the earth

3) No need body language or translator. Cockroach friends told me, useless!


Conclusion
1) No lizards come to HK to pray
2) No place for lizards to pray as HK's homes are too small but too many furniture
3) I cannot fall in love with lizard or have lizard-cockroach mixed baby(ies), I cried
4) Chi will not pay me a meal nor sleeping place in Malaysia

Chi-too, it is a gift for your sister
Pls give me a meal or your studio

I have a quandry...
It's my sister's birthday this sunday and I don't know what to buy her. But it so happens that I have a solution. I will utilize this blog to find out what I should buy her.
Can the readers of this blog (if there is any) suggest to me what to buy her... leave your suggestions in the comments. If you want to know what kind of a person she is. Well, she's everything that I am not, if I can say so, she is an un-chi. The only thing we have in common is probably how we think we're the coolest people in the world. Well, then we have two things in common, we are also probably the two most narcissistic people alive.
Please, any suggestions would be appreciated. In a way, I am also conducting an exercise in finding out how many people actually read my blog. I believe there are four of you.... but given the masturbatory nature of this blog, I won't be surprise if there are no readers at all.
Yeah, so leave your suggestions...
thankyouverymuchforyourcooperationyou'refartookind.