Bow To The Genius Of Panda Head Curry!

Panda Head Curry have finally made a music video for themselves. Although 'Samy' is not my favourite track in their debut album 'One Thousand Homo Humpbacks', it has nonetheless smittened me with its pure genius and flawless execution.

Woe to me! I should stop making films altogether until I get to learn under the tutelage of Panda Head Curry!

In Defense Of Youth!

Recently, there has been a discussion thread in the Sea Turtle Research Unit (SEATRU) Volunteer mailing list regarding lowering the minimum age limit for the programme (the current age limit is 18). Most people feel that the age limit should stay (me included). And then the following email was posted...


from : (Name Withheld)
to : seatru_volunteers@yahoogroups.com
date : Aug 9, 2007 12:19 AM

I strongly agree that the age limit should be set at 18. Even 18 years old teens are already so rebellion (though not all are like this), what can we expect much from them to contribute? Besides, this is in fact a voluntary programme for the sake turtle conservation and not summer holidays camp or whatsoever, therefore I find that it will be burden for the staff to keep an eye on those KIDS. First thing first, what can they contribute? Patrolling during day time & sleep during night time? Or help to make more noise so that the atmosphere there feel better?

At the same time I do not find that KIDs under 18 years old are physically fit. Though I am in England now & I agree that English teens here are much stronger & independent, look at M'sian boys & girls. How well-built they are? I am sure majority are skinny & not so tough. Come on, mate! Can can easily be carried wawy by the waves.

Set the limit as it is. Vacations or summer holidays in Chagar Hutang is just not the right destination. I am sure if the teens are keen to join, I really believe that I can always wait for few more years or so, if they really have the intension to help. CH is always there for them! CH would not vanish over night.

Hope my opinions make sense & strong enough to support Prof Chan's stand.
(Name Withheld)


Of course, your's truly, me, could not resist posting a reply to such bigoted nonsense. Here then is my reply to the group...


from :chi too (19sempilai@gmail.com)
to :seatru_volunteers@yahoogroups.com
date :Aug 9, 2007 10:04 AM
subject :Re: [seatru_volunteers] Re: Under-aged participants

dear friends, and friends of friends friends,

how amazingly bigoted... If such is the general regard held towards youths by us adults, it is no wonder that they end up becoming what we perceive them to be... rowdy, irresponsible, party animals that can't do shit.

There seem to be a completely unfair line of reasoning here.
premise 1 : some youngsters are irresponsible and useless
premise 2 : Chagar Hutang cannot tolerate irresponsible and useless behaviour
conclusion : Chagar Hutang cannot tolerate youngsters.

What is my point? well, I guess most people here are smart enough to figure out what I am getting at. But for those of you who don't and insist on me having a point. Here's my point then:

(.)

To simply deny young people such an enriching experience is not only unfair, but highly myopic. And I state again, I cannot imagine a better time for a person to be passionate about issues (be it social or pop) then when they are at that kick ass opinion forming rebellious 15-18 years old. And what is so wrong about being rebellious? How does one define rebellion? Smoking a cigarette? Cutting class? Disobeying unjust rules? Swearing? Standing up against authority? Having an opinion? (well, but then again, the school system would probably repress it and claim that opinion forming should be left to universities, and universities would then claim that students should concentrate on studying).

Yes, I understand that the SEATRU team is really busy with existing work and to take this into consideration would mean more work for everybody (in terms of setting up new policies and guidelines and etcetra)... but isn't that how work works? you have loads of it, and you find yourself put in a position where you take in more. I'm quite sure that mechanisms can be put in place to ensure that youngster interested in volunteering are the real mccoy.

Seriously, if youngsters really are so irresponsible and useless as Jason claims to be, I'm pretty sure that Prof would have never allowed the MKIS kids to come every year. Testimony that kids can do more than day patrols and sleep at night. I don't know about you, but when I was 15, all I wanted to do was to stay up late (and not sleep if allowed...)

I however, have a confession to make... I can't stand kids, especially youngsters, and I especially don't fancy having a 15 year old in Chagar Hutang with me. However, to deny a youngster such an enriching experience simply because of my own preferences is not only unfair and selfish, it reeks of elitism. I also believe that having no one to speak up on their behalf in this mailing group (any 15-17 year olds here? gimme a 'woot! woot!'), someone ought to. This is also what happens when one was rebellious as a teenager, we like to take complete opposite sides of popular opinions (even the ones i agree with) to see if such opinions are valid and reasonable, and is not merely a result of herd behaviour.

To end this exhaustively long e-mail, I would like to now form another line of reasoning based on (Name Withheld)'s methodology.
premise 1 : some people are irresponsible and useless
premise 2 : Chagar Hutang cannot tolerate irresponsible and useless behaviour
conclusion : Chagar Hutang cannot tolerate people.

Thank you very much. I hope my opinions make sense and is strong enough to sway Prof Chan's stand.

Yang menjalankan tugas,
chi too
Just an old cynic who harbored desires to see a turtle since he was 12.

Perhaps...

Hanging on to a sunbeam
Perhaps I should put it in a light-tight box
But it would still be dark inside.

The Necessity Of Truth

Writing in darkness
Obscuring clarity
Oh the pity!

Despite the starkness
Preserving sanity
Oh so pretty!

Alas
An unnecesary necessity.

Oral Constipation

Nothing important to say... (Kafka was born in Prague)

Poetikarat no. 1

Distracted,
I tripped and fell on my face.
I breathe in the dust
You clapped your hands in praise.

Unprotected,
My heart skipped a beat.
My realization of the crux
You clamoured at my very defeat.

Alas.

Gazing outside...
I trade my gold for a minute in your tide.

ReWhine

I've received complaints that my recent blog entries have been happy and light. In an attempt to restore my dense and dark reputation, here's an entry that lacks the component of clarity.


Staring into the irrevocible differences of our vicarious epiphanies.

I Want To Ride My Bicycle!

This is a sticky post. Scroll below for updates.



Mari kawan-kawan, kita menjajah jalanraya Kuala Lumpur. Woooheeeeeey. Ride your basikal, tricycle, unicycles, unicorns, or you can just simply walk. Just don't show up in a car.

Thank You...

you've made my day.

I woke up today with a slight breeze blowing by the top of my head. My hair sways gently, dancing in an almost splendid manner, graceful as the clouds above that transforms from one sublime form to another. An image, if slowed down, would hypnotize the weariest of souls and awaken the most subdued of fairies.

I lift my head a little higher and I feel this gentle breeze grazing my face. Every follicle, hair, and pigment of my existence lingers in this gentle massage as skin rubs against atmospheric friction. Slowly, this breeze carves a smile on my lips. My mind is light... Gently my head pulls the rest of my body up. My massive mass becomes nimble... the tips of my toes tip toe on the gentle grass beneath me.

Slowly, the blades of grass is relieved of my weight... I find my toes barely touching the grass. This gentle breeze lifts me like a kite.

Realizing this, I fear that I may float high up above for an indefinite period of time. Quickly, I attached a spool of thread to the ankle of my right foot.

I drift higher and higher.

When the time is right, may I so boldly ask, that you seek this thread and pull me down back to earth.

Bjork : Volta

Sweet!
My life is complete now.

Short Skirt! Long Jacket!

This post has nothing to do with short skirts, nor does it have anything to do with long jackets. In fact it doesn't have anything to do with anything at all. It is nothing more than a fanciful attempt at wasting time. If you feel that your time is being wasted, please go do something a little bit more productive than reading this post. I will try my very best to stop typing this entry.

Questions & Answers

At a recent art festival where While You Were Eating was screened...

Audience Member : What is the reason behind making this film?

Me : Reason is overrated. I make films because I want to tell stories, therefore I make films. I don't need a reason.

Why do people keep asking the same question? Lazy questions deserve lazy answers.

Unzing In My Head! Woot! Woot!

To celebrate this nasty cough and flu that I am having, my doctor gave me drugs...

Now I have 6 different kind of drugs working my system...

Work it! Work it!

Unz! Unz! Unz! Unz!

Best of all... I have the 'Don't operate heavy machinery or drive any vehicle after consuming this drug' flu pills... my favourite. Hibernasia here I come.

Unz! Unz! Unz! Unz!

Woe To Me! Woe To Me! Woot! Woot!

Hey kawan-kawan, here is a letter of complaint I sent to the editors of various newspapers after being pissed at the tour agent that was supply me with my festival tickets for the Rainforest World Music Festival...

MISSING THE RAINFOREST MUSIC FESTIVAL

Dear Editor,

I really should be enjoying myself at the Sarawak Rainforest Music Festival, but unfortunately I am typing this e-mail from my hotel lobby.

We booked our tour package for the festival through Cat City Holiday. We were promised that our tickets would be available during check in at the hotel. However, through a slip up by the tour agency, our tickets ended up being stuck with a guide at the airport. Despite repeated appeals to have our tickets sent over, we are still denied of our tickets.

What's even more frustrating is Cat City's attitude at dealing with the situation. They refused to accept any responsibility and on a couple of occasion rudely walked away while we were still in discussion.

It is now 7.30 in the evening and the concert have already started. We have paid in full and spent over a thousand ringgit for the 3 day package,yet we have missed the day's workshops and will be missing part of the night's concert.

This would be my first and last time dealing with Cat City Holiday. Not only have they failed to deliver their promises, their rude customer service leaves little to be desired. I urge future festival goers to book directly from festival organizers or through other agencies.

Sincerely,
chi too & (Name Withheld)


Of course, the letter was never published (as expected), but since I am not some sneaky cheap ass... I also CCed a copy of this email to Cat City Holiday.

Lo and behold, within 36 hours of me hitting the 'send' button, Cat City began this major PR exercise in telling everyone (the media that was there at the festival) that this was all full of shit and we had no right to complain... all this before the letter was even published (and probably will never be published). Talk about having a public relations strategy. Woooheey...

And to add Bananarama to the drama, they began to threaten my friends about having their lawyers write a letter to the editors exposing their names to prove that I am not in the guest list, therefore I actually have no right to complain, unless if I write to the editors within 72 hours telling how sorry I am for complaining when I really am not allowed to (according to them).

I really couldn't be bothered to write back, since it was pretty obvious that the company sucks at dealing with such situations and is merely using intimidation tactics... and since they are freaking my friends out (strangely the company refuses to talk to me and is communicating their messages through my friends...I wonder why), I decided to write the letter anyway... it goes like this (once again, my bowels stand a better chance of seeing the light of day than this letter does):

I REALLY HAD NO RIGHT TO COMPLAIN. WOE TO ME!

Dear Editors,

I am writing to you in regard to a letter I wrote to you entitled 'Missing The Rainforest World Music Festival'. It is regretful that
Cat City Holidays is now demanding an apology from me as a result of the above mentioned e-mail.

I apologize for naively believing in the fact that I am a 'legal' consumer since I was not the one who purchased the tickets, neither was my name in the guest list of the package. In this case, I am merely a grieving party who did not understand Cat City Holiday's rigid policies (which I understand is essential for a festival as such) and have acted rashly in response to it.I shall from here on limit my understanding and beliefs as a consumer with rights according to all fine prints, policies, and caveat emptors (no matter how fine they may be) as set by all my future vendors and service providers that I shall be dealing (either directly or indirectly) with.

I also apologize that I have practised my rights as a 'consumer' and thus arousing much anxiety to Cat City Holidays. Through my actions, I have caused them to waste much productive time in their efforts in clarifying matters to the media (and wanting me to clarify things to the media) despite the fact that my letter was not (and probably will never be) published in the first place.

On top of everything, most importantly. I would like to apologize to you, the editors whom I've sent this letter to for wasting your precious time in reading my previous e-mail. It is regrettable that you should have spent your time and attention on such petty matters.

Sincerely,
chi too

Continuing Misadventures Of The Adventure Drama Queens

Kiki : Can I use your Brazil nuts?
Gigi : No, keep your hands off my Brazil nuts.
Kiki : But your Brazil nuts feel so good...
Gigi : Of course, they're Brazillian.
Kiki : Please...
Gigi : OK... you can have my Brazil nuts... But be careful.
Kiki : Thank you. I'll handle your Brazil nuts with care.

ps: The above conversation may not be 100% accurate. It may not even be 50% accurate. In fact, it can be a fictional piece of fantasy imagined by the author. I don't know...I can't be sure, when the conversation took place, A song was playing in my head, I had too little sleep for 3 nights, and just had the most painful thing inflicted on me. Incoherent.

Transformers

Optimus Prime takes like 10 seconds to transform.
In the past, it used to be just 'kuscch krussh kooo krsuch' and Optimus Prime would be trailer truck to robot. That's probably no more than 3 seconds.
Now in the new movie...its like.. 'Kruschh Kuschh kroo weee ziiiwoo krsucxs hjurt wewee ziiiii...' It takes like more than 10 seconds.
Isn't that like a major handicap. If I was Megatron I'll just blow Optimus Prime's ass to hell while he's transforming.

Greetings From Your Motherland

Somewhere in this massive profound universe, there exist solar systems that contains planets such as the earth. In this little planet lies this country called Malaysia which within itself has another country by itself called Sarawak. In Sarawak, you need to pass through immgration checkpoints upon entry and there is a pretty pretty little city called Kuching. Criss-crossing the landscape of Sarawak are thousands of streets one of which is the very quaint Jalan Padungan which is home to trendy cafes, down to earth coffee shops, medicine halls (one of which has a selection of over a thousand different kinds of condoms, and a couple of dildos), thingamajiggas, and whatchamacallits. Among these, is this place called 'bing!'. bing! makes the best iced lattes in the world for RM 9.50. In this glass of latte, lies a temporary moment of euphoria.

ps: I love your motherland, but the father of your land is a real bad motherfucker (and I don't mean that as in Jules Winnfield in Pulp Fiction.)

An Ode To Miri

Violently, the wind blows, a plastic bag to the sky it lifts.
Behind glass walls in air conditioned comfort, I contemplate stepping outside.
Verily, it blows, from the sky above a band of thieves.
I slowly fall in futile attempts to retort, behind glass walls I hide.
Violently, the wind blows, my self to the sky it lifts.