Siri Amerika Syarikat Bahasa Melayu 1

Aku sekarang berada di bandaraya Washington DC. Tempat ini merupakan ibu negara Amerika Syarikat, sebuah negara yang masyur dengan pelbagai tarikan seperti tugu tugu peringatan, rancangan televisyen, teksi-teksi, peperangan, ketua ketua negara, dan donut. Malah, adalah dipercayai bahawa donut merupakan ciptaan orang Amerika.

Satu lagi makanan yang tidak kurang masyurnya (dan dipercayai lebih mashur dari donut) adalah hotdog. Hotdog di Amerika Syarikat kebanyakannya diperbuat dari daging lembu. Oleh itu, para muslimam dan muslimat yang tidak risau untuk memakan makanan katok tidak perlu berasa was was. Katok kerana kemungkinan besar lembu itu tidak dibacakan doa doa yang berkenaan apabila ia disembelihkan. Saya tidak pasti, biasanya saya tahu jika ia halal dengan melihat cop 'halal' yang diluluskan jais.

Walaubagaimanapun, terdapat juga hotdog yang diperbuat dari daging babi. Saya suka hotdog babi. Bagi saya, babi itu adalah daging yang paling sedap di dunia. Saya suka babi. Babi itu sedap. Babi suka saya. Tapi saya tak sesedap babi. Maaf, saya sudah terlajur. Tujuan nukilan ini bukan untuk bercerita mengenai babi... sepatutunya diceritakan pengalaman saya di Amerika Syarikat.

Walaupun begitu, saya ingin memohon maaf. Alangkah sayangnya, saya berasa sungguh penat dan sudah tidak larat. Oleh itu, saya sudah malas nak menaip di papan kekunci...

Jumpa lagi di hari yang lain...

Pontification

Today, I invented a word.

Pontification (Pawn-Tea-Fee-Kay-Syen) = A divine accumulation.
Example = You are so clever, you are the pontification of all knowledge.
Origin = none.

Ahhh, I am totally the pontification of all things absurd. I am such a cunning linguist.

Selected Thoughts From The Mind Of chi too

Thunderstorms on a clear morning sky
The sun explodes
With rain that corrodes
Alas, it eats up your clothes.

For K

off

/

you

?

Here

(This post is supposed to be there)

Don't Park At Cineleisure : A Pointless Rant

Too much happened to me over the past couple of weeks. I'm feeling overwhelmed by all the drama that have taken place. I have many legitimate rants to bitch about. Many that is of actual significance and consequence.

Unfortunately/Fortunately (cross out irrelevant field) this is not a blog for significant rants.

Fortunately for you, something completely insignificant happened to me that really pissed me off. So much so that it warrants a post in this blog.

Warning : the following post contains testimonies of actual events.

Tonight I'm going to watch Ironman in Cineleisure, so I try to park my car in Cineleisure (that's quite a no brainer).

My car enters level LG, makes one round... no parking.

My car enters B1, makes one round... no parking.

My car tries to enter B2, closed... makes another round in B1.

No parking.

My car makes another round in B1... no parking.

Another... another... another... another...

No parking!

15 minutes have past. I decide to get the hell out.

I put my unpaid token into the machine believing that there should be a grace period... the machine says 'unpaid token'. I press the intercom for attention.

No answer... traffic builds up behind me.

1 minute later, a parking attendant approaches my car. I tell him there is no parking. He tells me that I have to pay. I say should not have to pay since I did not park.

He insists that I pay since I entered the carpark and there's plenty of parking. I tell him I intended to park, not to drive around the carpark.

Traffic builds up. He tells me that I have to pay.

'I wasted 15 minutes, wasted petrol, you did not put up a sign that says 'full', you closed one level of parking, and you've completely ruined my mood... and now you want me to pay? NO!'

He raises his voice and insists that I drive to the side and make way for traffic behind me.

I turn off my engine and take my keys off my ignition... 'What are you going to do now?' I asks him.

Pissed off, he reluctantly waves his card over the machine and raise the barrier. He tells me to never come back again.

'Fuck Off', verily, I say to him. I drive off.

I'm not very proud of that. Never have I ever in my life swore to a worker before. But then again...

Stupidity is intolerable... but when mixed with arrogance, is sacrilegious.

Moral Of The Story : Don't park in Cineleisure.

Would it be acceptable for vegetarians to eat animal shaped biscuits?

Yummmmm... Horse...

Ayam Beg

Sometimes I think my blog is quite funny, but not in a humorous way.

Unless if you like sick humor.

ps: Happy 'chi too is back in peninsular Malaysia' day to you too.