Saturday, May 29, 2010

Sophie Versus The State Of Emergency



RM 2000 (USD 613.40). Any takers?

ps: please help me finance my trip to Tokyo. This would pay for my flight tickets

Friday, May 28, 2010

Thursday, May 27, 2010

I wanted to write a poem for this post.

Then I realize I can't write poetry

A Year Ago #1

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Conversations With You (32 of many)

Me: Why do we always argue?
You: Do we?
Me: Let's not argue over it.

Shortcomings



When I was 12, I really wanted to be a pilot
Orangina is now available in 7-11...
This is one of the happiest days of my life

Sometimes I find myself to be too easily sated

ps: I would like to write a zine, but I don't know about what

Monday, May 24, 2010

chi too's Guide To Daily Living (part 2 of many)

Dear Chi Too,
I'd like to know how the same can be applied if it isn't a phone conversation but a face-to-face one. Thank you in advance for your advice.
PQ


Hi PQ,
If you are caught in an undesirable face to face conversation as a result of an undesirable phone conversation that ended with the other party saying 'We should meet up someday', then you totally deserve it. You cannot be helped.

Otherwise, I suggest staring intensely at the person's forehead throughout the conversation. If the person asks 'what's wrong?', just say 'huh?' and pretend like he/she is insane for asking such a question. Continue to stare at the person's forehead after that and pepper it with a concerned look every now and then.

Soon enough, the person would probably excuse him/herself to the toilet. Before the person returns, pack your things and clutch your bag then anxiously tell him/her that you just got this phone call and you must attend to it immediately. Be courteous and leave some money behind for the drink you had. Then leave, but try to not say things like 'Keep in touch', 'Call me', or 'Let's meet again soon'.

Walk away. I hope that I've made your life a bit more pleasurable today. May your woes and burdens be lighter.

I'm Scared #3

Sunday, May 23, 2010

I'm Scared #2



Simplify... simplify

I'm Scared



Can you protect me from him?

Saturday, May 22, 2010

chi too's Guide To Daily Living (part 1 of many)

Dear friends and friends of friends,
Due to all the events that are happening to and around me, I have realized that life is not all banoffee pie and lattes. Like we all know, it can be quite a pain in the ass (and I don't mean the pleasurable kind), or even a kick in the nuts (for those who find the former pleasurable). Hence, I find it my duty to present you with this new series 'chi too's Guide To Daily Living' just to make our daily lives a bit more bearable. Through this series, I will present you with solutions to life's many challenging challenges. I also do requests, so if any of you get any trouble from the universe, do leave your agonies in the comment section of the latest Guide To Daily Living blog post.
sincerely,
chi too.

--------------------

Have you ever had an old acquaintance (say someone from highschool) who would call you for no good reason simply because you were too polite to not give him/her your phone number when you were asked to 'exchange numbers' when you or him/her reconnect with him/her or you on facebook? And this person would chat for hours on the phone with you talking about the most banal things like work, family, old high school friends, politics,string theory, etcetera.

And worse, you're the polite kind that can't tell this person that you really don't have time for all these bullshit...

Have I got the solution for you. In this case, I suggest the use of single word answers like 'yeah', 'no', 'hmmmm', 'tskkk', or 'totally'. These are great to bring any conversations to a complete catastrophic stop. For example.

X : So It's quite hot today isn't it.
You: Yeah
X: Which can only mean that it's gonna rain later in the afternoon
You: Probably...


keep going on this trajectory until the other party becomes suspicious of your behaviour and asks the following question

X: Hey, are you alright, you seem really quiet today?

At this point, reply with a quick 'tsk' and put down the phone.

If he/she calls back immediately after that just reject his calls for the rest of the day. After about 3 attempts of calling you back, he/she will realize that you must be going through some serious shit issues and will not call you for a couple of days.

....
....
....

A couple of days would have passed by now and he/she would probably call you back and ask you the following

X : Hey, how are you today? What happened to you the other day? Are you feeling better now?

At this point, there are 2 things that you can do

a) You: I'd rather not talk about it.

or

b) reply with a quick 'tsk' and hang up the phone.

At this point, the caller would realize that he/she has crossed some intergalactic line and would find someway to either disassociate or try to get to know you and your 'problems' better. The former is most desired and is usually the case, but if the caller is a nutcase who prefers the latter then the only solution is this...

ACT LIKE YOU HAVE SOME SERIOUS SHIT BIPOLAR ISSUES

Constantly switch between being super friendly and the 'singe word answer, tsk, hang up' approach in the most arbitrary manner every couple of days or so. If this doesn't solve your problems, Nothing will.

I hope that I've made your life a bit more pleasurable today. May your woes and burdens be lighter.

Nothing Happened Today


nothing #1


nothing #2

Thursday, May 20, 2010

BKK #1

Memories of Central World















Inside Central World was this really awesome yogurt ice cream joint.

I am sad... :(

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

PNG #1



I wasn't supposed to take a picture but I did anyway...

Monday, May 17, 2010

Conversations With You (31 of many)

You: You are so yesterday
Me: Maybe it is you who is just way too far ahead tomorrow
You: You are so today

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Fun Facts (3 of many)

Did you know? That FTW is WTF in reverse.

For example:

Conversations with you (x of many)

Me: WTF?
You: Yes, my love for you is represented by the following mathematical equation, where my love for you being x, x equals pi multiplied by the cosine of the time i spend with you squared.
Me: FTW!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

I'm so excited I want to explode now!

Fun Facts (2 of many)

Did you know? That 'hey' is 'yeh' in reverse.

For example:

Conversations with you (x of many)

you: hey!
me: yeh!


*Fun facts, they're fun and they're factual!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Fun Facts (1 of many)

Did you know? That 'ugh' is an anagram for 'hug'.

So the next time you see someone grunt, give him/her a hug.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

I'm so anxious I want to slit your wrist

Monday, May 10, 2010

Sunday, May 09, 2010

Aku Nak Migrate

Kerana aku bertemu jalan yang buntu.
Aku hanya boleh mara ke belakang

http://akunakmigrate.blogspot.com/

Friday, May 07, 2010

You And Me And The Bossanova

It all started with this

Dear Chi Too,

First of all, we sincerely appreciate your support and concern for the Asian Film Academy (AFA).

This year, we have a wide range of well qualified applicants including you. However, we are obliged to choose the limited number of applicants. Though it is extremely difficult for us to decide, we regrettably have to relinquish many excellent candidates. We are sorry to inform you that you are not invited for the AFA in this year.

Nevertheless, we would like you to keep it in mind that you will be welcomed to apply for the AFA in another year. We are truthfully grateful for your support and expecting your consistent concern for PIFF and AFA.

Pusan International Film Festival
Director
Kim Dong Ho

August 26, 2005


Then it just kept piling on but somehow I've still not gotten used to it.

Thursday, May 06, 2010

I fed your fishes today... all four of them.
I didn't know it was possible, but they are getting really fat.
I've never seen a fat fish before.

I will look in the mirror and visualize myself with scales, fins and gills.

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Conversations With You (30 of many)

Me: Let's stay together
You: You are not good enough for me
Me: But you are good enough for the both of us