Ricochetted off Phnom Penh

2 days before my intended departure to the wonderful land of indo china, my dad admitted himself to the hospital because his liver was acting up on him again. Gasppppp! Horror! major decisions need to be made as the doctor also told us to 'be prepared for the worst', but a through diagnosis on his actual situation can only be made the following day as he will be receiving a blood transfusion and his condition needs to be stabilised before anything conclusive can be said. Therefore any decisions (on my part) should be made only when a proper diagnosis is done, this decision is made alot more difficult by the fact that I am supposed to be travelling with a friend, whom we shall call 'mimi' for now (well, in her blog i am referred to as 'gigi' which makes us 'gigi & mimi: adventure drama queens'.

Saturday came and the doctor's diagnosis was that my dad is on the road to recovery and would be discharged on monday. My mom felt that I should go ahead with my plans, and she insisted that i carry on no matter what. I on ther other hand decided that I would come back first thing when necessary.

So off I go on Sunday, off to the beautiful land of indochina with Mimi. We landed in Phnom Penh with a great sense of relief as both of us desperately needed this trip as we are going through a time of confusion and is in need to the heightened sense of clarity that I usually find in indo-china to think things through.

It was all rah rah rah and ha ha ha from then on as both me and Mimi (that sounds so super narcissistic... me me me) turned out to be wonderful travel partners and I am really comfortable with her. I believe we brought the best out of each other, though Mimi realized that she swears alot more with me around... fuck, how can that be.

until....

On monday nite at the internet place (a good thing is that we are both internet junkies, so an hour on the internet always follows our nights of food and gallavanting), I received an e-mail from my sister claiming that everything is not as it is perceived to be (especially to me). Apparently my dad took a turn for the worse on sunday morning and my mom mandated that my sisters hide that from me just so that I will still get on that plane to Phnom Penh. I was throughly pissed off, and to a certain extent, I felt betrayed. However my sister claims that the situation is just bad... not getting any worse, nor better...it just stayed 'bad' to a certain extent. Unfortunately having been deceived once left me with very little trust with the people back home. I was furious but unfortunately the situation calls for more panache and getting upset at my mom now is not really an option. Paranoia grew and I was going nuts... however I felt that Mimi does not need to know yet (though telling her the truth is inevitable as it is only fair for her to know my real situation)

Over lunch at a really decadent restaurant the following day, I popped the situation (sans getting down on my knees and ring) to her. However my decision then was to take things easy and see what happens. Life goes on. In lieu of my dad receiving 3 pints of blood the other day, I donated blood to the local children's hospital and Mimi, albeit her fear of the needle decided to do it too in solidarity of my dad's situation (Mimi, if you are reading this, I just want you to know that I was throughly touched by your gesture. I've restrained myself from expressing this gratitude in fear that i would go nuts)

On Wednesday, I received a phone call from my uncle (a reliable source of information) which explains the actual situation which is not pretty... kidneys and liver failing, minor brain damage and minor stroke. I went nuts. My first reaction was to pack my bags, go to the airport and buy a ticket for the next available flight to Kuala Lumpur. That was about 10 am when I found out. Fortunately I did not head to airport right away as I found out the flight was only at 430 in the afternoon. That leaves me with much time to say goodbye to Mimi, have lunch and help her draw up a solo plan on what she can potentially do next. We said our goodbyes in hope that a rondezvous would be possible later in Luang Phabang.

Arrived in the airport at about 2 pm and bought my tickets for the 430 flight. Major drama, I went berserk in the airport and the wait and flight home became one of the most emotionally torturous moment I have ever experienced. My mind was racing as tears roll uncontrollably; attempts to read my book was futile as I find myself unable to read beyond 3 sentences. All I could do was stare at the setting sun outside my window as my starboard side window seats faces the sun directly as I fly down south.

I arrived in Kuala Lumpur with my uncle waiting for me at the airport. He sent me to his house for a shower and some dinner, afterwhich we headed off straight to the hospital. During the long journey to his home from the airport, he gave me a through diagnosis of my dad and the family's condition. I reckoned I would be ready for what I am about to see (which I later realized I am not and eventually went nuts when i finally did see him).

After saying hi to my mom, sister, cousins, uncle, aunts, and whatnots I headed off to my dad's ward.

I held his hand and told him 'Father, I am back..'


PS: at the time this blog was posted, my dad has recovered and has gained consciouness from the stroke. Things are looking up for him and he is expected to be discharged in a day or two.