Pulp FikSyen

Sometimes I wish I can have 2 bad ass assassins like Jules Winnfield and Vincent Vega (of Pulp Fiction) working for me so I can send them to my corporate clients who think they can fuck around with me. That way all these corporate idiots can be a bit more careful and at least attempt to gain at least a minimal level of intelligence.

If I do, I imagine the following scenario will take place, just like how it did in Quentin Tarantino's Pulp Fiction. Just replace 'Marsellus Wallace' with 'chi too', and 'Guy Whose About To Be Blown To Pulp' with 'Idiotic Corporate Executives Who Think They Can Write, Direct, And Produce Videos'. :


" Jules Winnfield : What does Marcellus Wallace look like?

Guy Whose About To Be Blown To Pulp: What?

JW: What country you from?

GWATBTP: What?

JW: What ain't no country I ever heard of! They speak English in What?

GWATBTP: What?

JW: ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER! DO-YOU-SPEAK-IT?

GWATBTP: Yes!

JW: Then you know what I'm saying!

GWATBTP: Yes!

JW: Describe what Marcellus Wallace looks like!

GWATBTP: What, I-?

JW: [pointing his gun] Say what again. SAY WHAT AGAIN. I dare you, I double dare you, motherfucker. Say what one more goddamn time.

GWATBTP: He's b-b-black...

JW: Go on.

GWATBTP: He's bald...

JW: Does he look like a bitch?

GWATBTP: What?

sfx: Gunshot (BANG!)
Jules shoots GWATBBTP in the shoulder

JW: DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?

GWATBTP: No!

JW: Then why you try to fuck him like a bitch, Brett?

GWATBTP: I didn't.

JW: Yes you did. Yes you did, Brett. You tried to fuck him. And Marcellus Wallace don't like to be fucked by anybody, except Mrs. Wallace.

(pauses)

JW : You ever read the Bible, Brett?

GWATBTP : Yes

JW : There's a passage I got memorized, seems appropriate for this situation: Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and
good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."

sfx: multiple gunshots (BANG! BANG! BANG!)

Jules Winnfield & Vincent Vega empties their guns on Guy Who Is Now Already Blown To Pulp. "


Unfortunately in reality that is completely impossible because I am a really nice guy and I don't think I can kill anyone, so instead I will write to them a poem instead...

"Buah cempedak di luar pagar
Ambil galah tolong jolokkan
Saya budak baru belajar
Kalau salah... mampus la engkau.