Friday

Fail...
Akan datang, take 2.

Thursday

Sorry... it's too late
It's already friday.
I think I'll try another day.

Wednesday

I want a lolipop
With colourful swirls that start from the middle
I really should stop
This might very well become an arcane riddle.

Monday

If everyday was a friday,
Fridays won't be special anymore.
And then we'll say 'God I wish it's Monday'

Aku Tak Tau

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akutaktauakutaktauakutaktauakutaktauakutaktauakutaktau
akutaktauakutaktauakutaktauakutaktauakutaktauakutaktau
akutaktauakutaktauakutaktauakutaktauakutaktauakutaktau
akutaktauakutaktauakutaktauakutaktauakutaktauakutaktau
akutaktauakutaktauakutaktauakutaktauakutaktauakutaktau
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If I actually knew what to do.
I won't have just sat there.

Mr Magorium's Wonderful Schamorium: A Case Study

Mr. Magorium's Wonderful Emporium (I think that's how it's spelt) is wonderful case study as to how to turn completely weak scriptwriting into a film that would completely sweep the lowest common denominator off it's feet (read, pretty much everyone).

Let the classroom come to order. Welcome to 'Saving a weak script through treatment 101'.

Boys and girls, should you be given a script written by the laziest bastard in the world, Here's what you should do:

1) Eccentricity! If the main character is boring as hell, make sure that he is eccentric. Eccentricity lends an illusion of genius to the character minus the hassles of developing the characters of a genius.

2) Casting! Have big names like Dustin Hoffman and Natalie Portman play the lead roles. Surely the audience would not dare to admit that such great actors can perform so poorly. People will blame themselves for not seeing through the genius of these actors. I already am. On top of that, by casting actors with names that rhymes will definitely provide good chemistry. Notice the presence of Jason Bateman.

3) Visual effects... lots and lots of it. People love that shit.

4) A pathetic socially inept kid that is cute as hell... no one can resist that shit. Even I can't resist it... can't resist choking him.

5) Lots of furry moving toys that interacts with people... especially one that's dying to reach out to you.

6) Inspirational Phrases! Lines like 'Life is an occasion... rise to it', who can resist that. Remember, if you can't afford to pay a good scriptwriter, it always pays to have a good copywriter to cleverly inject such phrases into the script.

7) Magic! Always include magical elements and if possible, make magic the main theme of the movie. That way, whatever story problems you encounter can be solved through magic.

8) Etcetera! Throw in whatever you can think of.

Voila. I would actually say that pretty much everyone walked out of the cinema happy. Only me... maybe I'm just a big barrel of disphoria.

You are all the happiness in the world locked up in a jar.

sigh...

Subtlety is an art-form
Unfortunately...
Some people are obviously trying to be subtle.

No... I'm not trying to be subtle.

Pinholio - Update # 4

Hai adik-adik!

Pinholio is a success... muahahahahahahahaha. It is true, one can produce a photographic image from nothing more than a few pieces of cardboard and a little pinhole.



Pinholio. f312/135mm

I went to Foto Pak Tai, whose owner was kind enough to help me process my negs immediately so i can figure out my exposure times.



The negatives hanging out to dry after processing, you can't see much cause the my handphone's camera sucks ass, but believe me, there is an image on that piece of negative... though i have to say it is slightly dense. Outdoors, on a sunny day, exposure time is 2 sec... when its overcast, about 4...

I tried to to take some indoor pics and got nothing but negatives that are completely blank. Tried one at 8 seconds and another fat 20 seconds... nada. Nothing came out. Then I went home and did some research. I am such an idiot, I totally forgot that when it comes to exposure times, you multiply 2 for every step... I heroically simply multiplied 4x for four steps... duh. hence 20 seconds... give and take... but in actual fact it really should be 30 seconds...

Then upon further research, I learned about 'reciprocity failure', which states that for exposures over 1 second... 'X' should be factored in to calculated exposure time due to the film's emulsions' something something...

Taking that into account, the correct exposure time should have been 2 minutes 34 seconds. Woohey. And then I did some more calculations and found out that a pinhole picture indoors can take anywhere between 50 seconds to 1 hour 20 mins or even more to expose... woohey...talk about patience.

Anyway, the photos from the test shoot will be available soon... Depending on whether I am rajin enough to fire up the darkroom.

Happiness is... (Prologue)

Happiness is over-rated.
It is nothing more than a drug for those incapable of dealing with their own realities.

(to be continued)

Project Pinholio - Update # 3

Hai adik-adik!

By implanting a nut (not the kind you eat, the kind you screw a bolt into), that fits a standard tripod shoe onto layers of hard mat board superglued to the bottom outer shell of the camera of course. After fasting for 40 minutes and 28 seconds, I received an epiphany as to how the camera should be mounted on a tripod.



I am so fucking great. Worship me.

To make myself even greater, I'm like already 98% done with the camera. After my last posting, I glued the outer shell togerher, attached it to the camera, lightproffed the insides, made a flap door style shutter, attached a tripod mount, attached rubber feet to the base... and...



I even made a viewfinder so that i can view an approximation of what I'm shooting. How cool is that. Of course this would have been impossible if it wasn't for N the engineer whose phytagorean theorum knowledge proved to be indispensible (assuming that the base of the pyramid is a perfect rectangular 100mm and 72 mm on its side, and the height of the pinnacle is 135mm. What would be the length of the sides?).

So what is the 2% that's still incomplete. I realized that the shutter flap won't close tightly and when opened, won't stay open without me having to keep my hands on it. Solution? velcro... but I need to go find some.

Project Pinhilio - Update # 2

Hai adik-adik,

Woohey, the Pinholio is really taking shape now. If you look at the above picture, note the left, right, and front outer shells are glued together already and the film mask is lined with felt. On top of that (or rather, on the side), sitting on its side is the film holder that also doubles up as the back of the camera. How this works is that I'll place a piece of sheet film on the inside of the film holder, and then just snug it in nicely in the back of the camera. It's as simple as that.



And voila, the pinhole. Over the weekend, I've successfully sourced a piece of copper sheet that's about 0.015 mm thick. In the course of that, I stupidly cut my finger while inspecting the copper sheet. Had no idea the edges were that sharp. That little piece of squarish looking thing... well, that's gonna be the shutter that covers the pinhole. I'll device a hinge and knob system to open up the shutter when I want to expose an image.

All in all, everything seems to be going ridiculously smooth. However, last night, I received an epiphany in my dream. What about a tripod mount? Well, what about a tripod mount? I'll think about it.

Project Pinholio - Update #1

Hai adik-adik,

Since medium format is not big enough, and I cannot afford to buy a proper large format camera. I have decided that I shall make my own large format camera. Woohey.

Introducing Project Pinholio, my very own large format pinhole camera made of nothing more than mat boards, art gum, and possibly some felt, and copper sheets.

What is a pinhole camera? can you eat it? can I get contagious diseases with it? How is it possible that you can make a camera out of cardboard? Forget about cardboard, how is it that you can even make a camera yourself.

Well, essentially, a camera is really nothing more than a hole in front of a lighttight box that transmits an image onto a material coated with a light sensitive emulsion (read : film). However, because most cameras has got such big holes, a lense is necessary to focus the image properly. The smaller the hole, the more sharp an image becomes. Thus a pinhole camera has a hole so small, it doesn't even need a lens. Actually the hole of a pinhole camera is alot smaller than a pinhole itself.



Now with that very informative lesson in science over. Allow me to elaborate on my working methodology for Project Pinholio. After contemplating various materials, i.e. paper, wood, jello, glass, etcetera, I've decided to settle with hard mat board (wood was high on the list, but since realize that I lack the dexterity to craft wood) purchased from the local framers. To increase the strength of the mat board, I decided to glue two layers of mat board together to create a super strong, super thick mat board.

Oh yeah, the reason for utilizing large format film is because I am too lazy to devise a film advance mechanism for a medium format system. This would however mean that I will have to deal with the inconvenince of loading and unloading film in a changing bag after every photo I'll take. But then again, how often does one get to shoot large format.

That is followed by planning out the size of the camera so that I can accurately draw the outline of the individual surfaces of the camera for cutting. I decided on a 135mm focal length, which translates to about 45mm on 135 format film. Could have made it a bit wider, but I'd prefer a focal length that emulates the perspective of the human eye.

After much measuring, cutting, and gluing. I ended up with this...


Front, notice in the background, the front board for where the pinhole is is still not attached. I am yet to make the pinhole.


Back


Leftovers... notice the Olfa mat cutter. Been wanting to have that for years, I finally decided to just buy one today. It's uber cool. It cut boards at a 45 degree angle, this allows me to mount my photos in the future nicely. For this project what it does is that, with angled edges, I get a stronger joint when I put the camera together.

Oh well... that's it for today. I would say that the camera is about 40% done. After this, I'll have to hunt for a copper sheet fof the pinhole, and get some felt to further lightproof the camera. Then I'll have to build a film holder, followed by an outer shell for further strength.

Woohey! and this Sunday, the large format film will be coming from Singapore. Hopefully, I'll be able to take a photo with this camera within this month.

Just Another Day...

I asked my Magic Eight Ball(tm) 3 questions...

... 'YES'
... 'SIGNS POINT TO YES'
... 'NO DOUBT ABOUT IT'

then I asked... 'Are you sure?'

... 'REPLY HAZY, ASK AGAIN LATER'

Updates On My Life

1) Been working

2) Watching too much Little Britain... "The computer says 'no'"

3) Contemplating getting rid of my facebook account... "The computer says 'no'"

4) Trying to build my own large format pinhole camera... "The computer says 'no'"

5)

I'll clip my wings.
Crawl into a fetal postition and envelope myself in a cocoon.

Mencari Bagan Lalang: A Recollection Of Actual Events.

Today, I thought I'll give you, the reader, a treat. I will provide you the pleasure of reading a blog entry that is a recollection of an actual event instead of subjecting you to another one of my mindfuck obscure blog entries.

Bagan Lalang is a beach I used to go to when I was in primary school. I remember going there for the first time when I was 11 on a boy scout camping trip where I stepped onto a bonfire of burning ember barefoot. It was a nice little beach then, nothing but a couple of shops in a little fishing village.

Last week, acting on a whim, over cake and coffee, I suggested to PQ to go look for Bagan Lalang. I have no idea where it is, It's been more than 10 years since I was last there... So today, we decided to wing it. After a few missed turns and nook and cranies, we find ourselves in Bagan Lalang.

Needless to say, it is now bastardized beyond recognition. But then again, I am not here to romantisize old notions so I'll stop here. We bought a kite... a Doraemon shaped kite for 10 ringgit and decided to send it up the sky. Strangely our Doraemon has a 'B' marked on its front pocket. Shouldn't there be a 'D' instead? I wonder if what we're flying up in the sky is really a Doraemon... maybe it's really a 'Boraemon'. The latter is a possibility since one can say that it is not a very accurate visual representation of a Doraemon. It also boggles my mind that Doraemon should be flying up in the air without a propeller on top on his head.

Oh well... how long can we keep a Boraemon up in the air? Kite flying is exciting in the first 10 minutes, but once it is up in the air, how long can it maintain its entertainment value. Once we lost our wind (no pun intended), we decided to call it quits and go beach hopping to Morib (which is about 40 kilometers away) instead.

On the way to Morib, we saw a signboard that says Tanjung Sepat. I was once told that you can find kick ass seafood in Tanjung Sepat, so we decided to make a diversion and check it out. It was not even 6 pm when we got there... The jetty streches out to the sea where fishing boats are parked as they sway to the gentle beating of the waves. We walked to the end of the jetty with a bag of fish crackers and watched the local people stare at the ocean.

There was a little restaurant, 'Ocen Restaurant' (no, I did not spell wrongly, they did) that looked like it was good... me and PQ thought maybe we can eat dinner there. Alas, the little hand is only a little over 6. We had lunch at 3 pm, after that we had cendol, a pack of Mamee, and a bag of fish crackers... Dinner at that time seemed like an impossibility.

With 'Ocen Restaurant' in mind, we drove off to Morib, faithful to our beach hopping agenda.

Morib was well... another beach. I had an ice cream cone. There was a man who was sweeping the beach with a metal detector. We'd like to believe that he's seeking buried treasures, but I reckon he's probably seeking metal bits to sell off as scrap metal. The sun set, we left.

Back to 'Ocen Restaurant' in Tanjung Sepat.

caveat emptor : since I'm already blogging about real events, I reckon maybe I should jump on the food blogging bandwagon too. Extra bonus! I will be a food blogger today, and I promise that my range of adjectives will go beyond 'delicious', 'tasty', and 'it was OK'. Woooohooo, slow down them bandwagon, I'm jumping on now.

So yeah... Ocen Restaurant... this is what we ordered.



Me and PQ, flabbergasted at the amount of food we ordered, contemplated our ability to eat everything. We decided to take away the crabs if we can't finish it.



Bollocks! We finished everything... Yes, it was that good. That and also because we are pigs.



Numero Uno. The 'Kong Po Sotong'. This is ultra fresh sotong. It has to be fresh since this restaurant is like right next to a jetty parked with fishing vessels. God, the squid bounces right off your teeth as you bite it, and yet its not hard and chewy in a way where you'll never get it down. Maybe chewy is not the right word to use... I would actually say that it is crunchy. However, some may say that for 'Kong Po', it is a tad mild and is not as tasty as it should be. In this case, calling it 'mild' would be inappropriate... I'd rather say that it's subtle. For squid as fresh as this, it would be a waste to drown it in flavours. In that way, I feel that the flavour managed to gently carry the squid through in its culinary journey. 'Really Tasty' is sometimes good, but I believe it takes a cook with real finesse to be able to blend flavours in a subtle manner and simply tease the palate.



Tous. The 'Tra La La', named so because I can't remember what it is actually called. Another fine example of how a simple dish when cooked properly and without pretense, can be most pleasing to the tastebuds. No frills required for this dish, just fresh clams, ginger, chili, chinese cooking wine, and etcetera. What's more pleasing was there was not a hint of that irratating taste of soil that one so often finds in la la.



Tres. The 'Kam Heung Crab'. This has got to be the most intensely flavoured dish of the night. Some may say that cooking really fresh crabs a 'la 'Kam Heung' is a real waste of fresh crabs since 'plain steamed' would be much more appropriate. On any other day, I'd agree with you, but after sinking my teeth into this, I'd beg to differ. I am throughly amazed at how, despite the intense flavours, I can still taste the freshness of the meat inside it. Earlier talks of packing some crabs home was thrown into the ocean the moment we digged in. What take-away?



Qua. The 'Kangkung Belachan'. Do I really need to review this? It is Kangkung Belachan. Any restaurant that serves such good food is expected to fry up fantastic vegetable dishes. If this is actually bad, I'd be really disappointed with the entire establishment, but I'm a happy camper.



PQ's pile.



My pile.



And a coconut each to wash down all that goodness. Bliss.



The bill. RM 69.20 (21 USD) for a meal that could easily been enough for 3 people. Absurd.

Since we can't attend Panda Head Curry?'s reunion gig (woe to me! woe to me!), we listened to Panda Head Curry? as we drived home in the darkness instead.

ps: this entry is dedicated to PQ. Couldn't ask for a better person to go running around in circles with.

Dinosaurs were big
Bacterias are really small
Intergalactic beings are way out there.