hello delayed...

If you're reading this... I'm probably away....

away in my favourite corner of the world, Chagar Hutang.



For an entire week, you'll be free of my hyperbolical ramblings...
But while you rest in that respite, I want you to know that I am enjoying myself on a restricted beach all to myself and a few people in some unknown corner in the world.

So if I don't see you...
Happy Monday,
Happy Tuesday,
Happy Wednesday,
Happy Thursday,
Happy Friday,
Happy Saturday,
Happy Sunday...

To see more of where I am... see 'Monsoon Conversations' in Gambarajah.

I love ya'll... I'll see you when I see you?



"hello...

Narcissistic Bastard no.1

I had to come up with a biography of myself to submit my film... so here's the latest one I whipped up a couple of minutes ago.

chi too is narcissistic bastard who thinks he can get away with making films like this. When he's not making films, chi too enjoys going to random places performing random acts with random people and beings. Currently, he works as a video editor to support and finance his dreams of becoming a filmmaker/photographer/writer/artist/environmentalist/ascetic. Do not mistaken his eccentricity as intelligence, he really is just plain nuts.

kenang-kenangan euforia

Here's the recollection of an euphoria.

On Sunday night I finally shot 'While You Were Eating', a short film that took one year in the making. Was it so monumental that it should take a year to complte? No, it was a relatively simple film, it's just that I was too bloody lazy to do something about it and has procrastinated for this long.

Much thanks to Mien Lor who gracefully accepted this job of producing the film, though I think she has some ulterior motives. Could it be that from here on I will be forever indebted to her; that I shall from here on obligingly serve as a scriptwriter, cinematographer, gaffer, best boy, runner, coffee lady, slave on whatever script that she throws at me. I doubt it, Mien is much nicer than that... and for that I bought her an Alice Walker book. "Much love and respect to you woman".

So, what the hell is 'While You Were Eating'... well, basically this idea was conceived almost 2 years ago. We shot it the other day with me as the writer and director. Prior to shooting it, I was nervous as hell. The clock was ticking, 10 hours to call time and everything seems to be going on smoothly... too smoothly if I must say. Alarm bells are ringing already, I've never experienced such a smooth pre production period before. On top of that, I've not directed a film for a year already... biting finger nails. And to add the cherry to the icing, I realized that 3 out of my 4 actors are involved or was involved in the film industry... biting fingers.

But then, when we finally rolled the cameras, my concerns proved to be unfounded. For the first time, it was actually true when it was too good to be true. Throughout the entire shoot, we had no problems with equipment; me and the cinematographer worked like clockwork; the entire crew had no problems at all; my actors, whom met each other 30 minutes before we rolled the camera had perfect chemistry; and most importantly, no one threw any dramatic fits... not even me, believe it or not.

The best bit was, I have to say that everyone on set had fun... This is one of those shoots where everyone would break out laughing when i call 'cut!'. However, this could have been due to the abundant supply of red wine. One of the scenes went like this...

me: for this scene, I need you to bottom the glass of wine
jon: no problems....
me: action!
me: cut!
later....
me: take 4, action!
me: cut!

... and that was only one lil scene, pretty much every scene involves drinking. So, I reckon the wine probably did its magic on set.

Ahhh... what more can I say (I can almost hear you, the reader, say... 'no more, no more'). I just want to extend all my love to my actors, anis, hannim, jon, and kenneth; my producer, mien; cinematographer, albert; and my trusty production assistant, koma. Without ya'll I'll just have to go look for someone else to do this... but someone else would probably not have rocked as much as you people.

It was 3 AM when we wrapped the shoot. Usually, when it is 3 AM I would be sleepy as hell (especially after a shoot), but I can't help but to have this grin on my face that was impossible to wipe off. Thanks guys, I love you all.



watch out for my new short film 'While You Were Eating' at a space near you. and I mean 'watch out' in a sense as in it may suddenly pounce on you.

flip flop flip flop flip

I really like slippers...
they go 'flip flop flip flop'
so long as i don't stop.

This incessant flip flop
resonates my steps
I can go on for laps...

flip
flop
flip flop

I walk foward

flop
flip
flop flip

I walk backwards

flip flip flip flip
to the left I go

flop flop flop flop
to the right I go

flip flop flip flop
flip flip flop flop
flop flop flip flip
flop flip flop flip
I end up where I began

Put on some slippers and come with me
we'll go flip flop flip flop
flip flop flip flop we'll go
we'll flip flop our way to a shop
I'll buy myself a brand new pair of shoes.

Meet The Murrays

It is finally here!
These are the photos I shot in Papua New Guinea. After 2 months, I'm finally done processing, printing, scanning, and uploading them. If i take any more longer, I reckon I'll have to submit them to the Papua New Guinean Archives.
Click on the image abobe or go to hyperbolica.blogspot.com . Enjoy.

a non-hello

I wanted to say 'hi'.

But instead...
I simply stood there.

I said 'hi'.

It was too late...
You weren't there.

A Rare Occurance

omigod! my phone just beeped!

yes it did... it really did.



Maybe yours will too...

More than 50 dogs and cats need to be adopted today

'stolen from the Star online'

KUALA LUMPUR: More than 50 dogs and cats at the Subang Jaya Municipal Council’s (MPSJ) animal pound in Puchong will be put down if they are not adopted by today.

Independent Pet Rescuers Malaysia is appealing to the public to adopt the animals and save them.

The adoption drive will be held today, from 9am to 4.15pm, at No 1, Jalan Utama, Taman Perindustrian Puchong Perdana (next to the Mariamman Hindu temple).

The animals were to have been put down on July 16 but Subang Jaya state assemblyman Datuk Lee Hwa Beng, who is also MPSJ councillor, had helped extended the deadline to give the rescuers more time to save the animals.

“I received a call from a Malay man who wished to remain anonymous, who said that Islam did not condone putting down animals, be they cats or dogs, and it was heartbreaking to see these animals being put to sleep,” said Lee.

Independent Pet Rescuers Malaysia volunteer Sherrina Krishnan said their main aim was to find good homes for the animals.

Sherrina, 36, said people abandoning animals or not having them neutered was the root of the problem.

“People think that taking their pets to be neutered is very expensive and a great hassle,” she said.

“It is actually much cheaper to neuter them at a local government veterinarian clinic than a private one. This can help reduce the problem of strays and abandoned pets as well.”

She said it was not cruel to neuter pets if one was not able to care for the pets' offspring.

“If they end up in a pound, the animals will be put down, unless a good soul adopts them,” she added.

The Independent Pet Rescuers also holds a pet adoption drive every Saturday at the Hartamas Shopping Centre. Those interested in adopting a pet can call Sherrina at 012-202 6384.

An Epiphany

I had an epiphany.
That's when you have an almost divine revelation...
When it strikes you with such clarity.
It leaves nothing to the imagination.
That's an epiphany.

I had an epiphany.
I blew it...
What shouldn't have could have had,
I wallowed...
Now it's gone bad.

Bad, bad, bad.
Like milk left in the sun,
Like this analogy that shouldn't have.
Bad, bad, bad.
Like this verse that refuses to rhyme.

Bad, Mad, Sad, and Fat,
They're all words that rhyme.
yet the cruel irony,
That's all I am.

Bad, Mad, Sad, and Fat...

Bad...
Mad...
Sad...
and Fat...

...
... ...
... ... ...
... ... ... ...

Congratulations.

Are Lizards Religious?: Results (01)

A few nights ago... in a drunken stupor (we'll never know), Cathy agreed to take on a qualitative research to find out if lizards are religious. Being the dedicated research assistant that she is, she diligently completed the job (despite the outcome not coming out the way it shhttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifould come out) with the minimal pay of 'board and lodging' when she's in Kuala Lumpur.
Below is the paper she wrote for the research, stolen with permission from her blog.

Be enlightened.


Research Study on Household Lizard in Hong Kong: Qualitative Study
by Cathy Chan

The research interest is raised by Chi-too. His hyposytheis is: the common household lizard comes to the ground every morning at 6 AM to be near the earth and pray.

Base on his non-study, he would like to carry out a cross-border research in Malaysia and HK. We would like to compare if the lizard comes to the ground every morning at 6am to be near the earth to pray or not, their practices and reason. We'd also analyze it after the comparasion.

Target: Household lizards x 20 in HK
Budget: one meal and one sleeping area

Result:
1) NO lizard can be found in household
I was conducting the research in Tsz Wan Shan in HK. It is a remote area in HK. I found 20 households but none of the family said they have lizard.

2) There are too many furniture for the lizards to come near the earth

3) No need body language or translator. Cockroach friends told me, useless!


Conclusion
1) No lizards come to HK to pray
2) No place for lizards to pray as HK's homes are too small but too many furniture
3) I cannot fall in love with lizard or have lizard-cockroach mixed baby(ies), I cried
4) Chi will not pay me a meal nor sleeping place in Malaysia

Chi-too, it is a gift for your sister
Pls give me a meal or your studio

I have a quandry...
It's my sister's birthday this sunday and I don't know what to buy her. But it so happens that I have a solution. I will utilize this blog to find out what I should buy her.
Can the readers of this blog (if there is any) suggest to me what to buy her... leave your suggestions in the comments. If you want to know what kind of a person she is. Well, she's everything that I am not, if I can say so, she is an un-chi. The only thing we have in common is probably how we think we're the coolest people in the world. Well, then we have two things in common, we are also probably the two most narcissistic people alive.
Please, any suggestions would be appreciated. In a way, I am also conducting an exercise in finding out how many people actually read my blog. I believe there are four of you.... but given the masturbatory nature of this blog, I won't be surprise if there are no readers at all.
Yeah, so leave your suggestions...
thankyouverymuchforyourcooperationyou'refartookind.

Mushroom Pasta with Balsamico Surprise

An experiment I conducted today...

Boil some pasta, I used spaghetti this time, but that's because I ran out of penne... that would work better I reckon cause that way you'll only need to use a spoon to eat it. Makes life easier.

In a small bowl, mix a vinaigrette of extra virgin olive oil, balsamic vinegar, and freshly chopped garlic. Go light on the olive oil, you merely need it for a lil' lubrication... any chef in the world will tell you that it is good have some lubrication. Put as much or as little balsamic vinegar as you like, and if you're me, shitloads of chopped garlic. Add a pinch of freshly ground black pepper and salt to taste.

Dice an entire onion and slice some button mushrooms. Stir fry them in a wok and add some "Madam Loo's Damn Fine Rice Wine" into the whole thingamajigga. If you don't have rice wine, some regular white wine will do... Or if you're feeling super rich, you can use some Dom Perignon, but I reckon that will taste like crap (but hey, if you can affrod to use champagne for your cooking, by all means help yourself to it). Add enough for it to reduce and still have like a lil' sauce at the end of it. Of course, add salt and black pepper to taste.

Drain cooked pasta and pour vinaigrette into the pasta... mix well and make sure the vinaigrette coats everything. Then add the stir-fried mushrooms on top of it.

Bon apetit!

I call it the Mushroom Pasta with Balsamico Surprise because prior to cooking it, I reckon that the outcome will be a complete surprise. Somehow it seems highly unorthodox to use a vinaigrette for pasta... fortunately the outcome came out the way it should come out. However I do suggest that you don't put too much balsamic vinegar... put just enough to get that subtle balsamic flavour as you bite into the pasta. This is a light pasta and it should stay that way... Enjoy.

ps: maybe the infamous food blogger, Honeystar can cook a batch for herself and write a review on it.

A Prayer

It's been quite some time since I last prayed. For some reason beyond the comprehension of my puny medula oblogata, I did just now. It went like this...

"Dear Lord, may your love and grace manifest in every person, being, and creation. Amen"

Let's Be Sloths

I am a walrus, and Kyoko was a sloth.

The above statement may not make sense at all to you. Let's keep it that way. What's really interesting is the website Kyoko pointed me to... "The Sloth Club".

This website is approved by the yet to be registered 'In Pursuit of Laziness' (POLIS) club which is founded by yours truly. Of course, whether it get registered or not depends on how committed i am at pursuing laziness.

And since I am committed to the cause of laziness, I will copy and paste an article from the sloth club's website. Read on, there are precious gems that we can learn from.

Enjoy.




Life of Sloth (stolen without permission from www.slothclub.org)

The sloth is a mammal living in the rainforests of Central and South America, spending most of its time in branches 10 to 30 meters above the ground. There are actually two-toed sloths and three-toed sloths but it is the latter that typifies the classic sloth-like behavior. They have been the objects of scorn for many years - even by the supposedly objective scientific world. They have been called 'lazy', 'stupid', 'filthy' and a 'failure' in evolutionary terms because of their incapacity to struggle with speed and strength. This kind of discrimination has continued for centuries - especially in western countries.

Recent biology reports reveal surprising facts about three-toed sloths. They live with half the muscle weight of other animals. Three-toed sloths weigh only about four or five kilograms but their muscle constitutes no more than a quarter of this. This slows them down but it also makes them light enough to be able to climb thin brancheswith great efficiency and thus have less chance of attacked by predators.

Eating and sleeping while hanging from the trees is one feature of their low energy life style. At night, when their body temperature decreases they stop moving altogether and wait for morning. When the sun rises they climb to the top of the tree and soak in the rays of light - recharging by solar energy.

Once a week, the three toed sloth slowly climbs to the base of a tree to defecate and pass urine. At first glance, this seems a rather dangerous and stupid habit that unnecessarily exposes them to predators but recent research has brought the reason for this behaviour to light.

By digging a shallow hole, emptying their bowels and covering it with dead leaves they are feeding the tree half the nutrition they took from it by eating its leaves. If they defecated from the top of the tree the nutrients would be scattered and easily washed away by tropical rains. Through this behaviour they are being responsible gardeners in the tropical forests famous for their extremely poor soils. Thus, the sloth feeds and raises the trees that keep it alive. Could that be a lesson in reciprocity for us all?

Another discriminatory myth against the sloth was that they were extremely selective about the type of leaves they ate - only eating from the Secropia species. Now researchers have found that they eat at least 90 different leaf species. Each individual sloth has its own preference - usually one has about eight favorites and lives among those trees. They avoid conflict and competition with others through this diversity and lessen their impact on any particular tree species.

It serves to remind us of one of the greatest minds of the human race, Albert Einstein, (who may well have joined the Sloth Club if he had the chance!). He shared the low impact vegetarian habit of the Sloth, and had this to say about vegetarianism:

'Nothing will benefit Human Health and increase the chances for survival
of Life on Earth as much as the evolution to a vegetarian diet.'

It is unlikely that any other animal typifies symbiosis aswell as sloth. They live through cooperation. Two or three kinds of algae grow among their gray green hair and the color changes to light green when the rainy season arrives to protect them by camoflage. Their thick fur is a paradise for an arthropod. According to one report, nine kinds of moths, four kinds of beetles and six kinds of ticks can be found on a three-toed sloth. The sloth, which weighs less than five kilograms, gives refuge to approximately 100 moths, 1,000 beetles and thousands of ticks.

So the Sloth is not a failure in the history of biological evolution, but rather a very good example of an extremely well adapted creature - it just adapted in a different way. The Sloth has succeeded in living a non-competitive, peaceful coexistence with minimal negative impact on the environment. They typify a renewable, recyclable lifestyle under the canopy while other mammals came down to the ground to compete in a struggle for existence according to the slogan 'faster, bigger, stronger'. Compared to the greedy, destructive, violent ways of humans - they are true saints.

The lifestyle of the Sloth has so many lessons for human survival in the 21st century. If we continue to promote the dominant paradigm of infinite growth with our 'faster, bigger, stronger' behavior; the economic system pushing mass-production, mass-consumption and a scientific, reductionist view of nature it is clear that we will not survive in the next millennium.

Slow is beautiful...

Irony is...

... when a letter to the editor regarding censorship is heavily censored.

My letter to the NST was actually publised, albeit being heavily edited by the editor (my sister claims that that's what they are paid for... to edit). Well, in my true dramatic self, I would say that it got censored rather than edited. Somehow being censored makes what I have to say to appear to be more important, so much so that it is tantamount to censorship. As opposed to say, being edited, which simply means there's too much rubbish in what you have to say therefore they'll have to edit it.

I would like to believe that the former is the case, but for those of you who have read my original article... the latter is more likely the case.

All in all, I have no objections to the editing, I think they are justified and expected. My only grouse is that they replaced 'socio-economic discrepency' with 'socio-economic problsm', which I believe is an intentional attempt to downplay the realities of the Indian community as a whole.


Root of problem

10 Jul 2006
CHI TOO, Kuala Lumpur

I REFER to the statement by Palanivel calling for the censorship of suicide scenes in Tamil movies "Call to cut suicide scenes" (NST, July 6).

It is amazing that after having visited Jason Johnson, one of the survivors in the Sangeetha rail tragedy in hospital, all he could say is that suicide scenes in Tamil movies are causing people to kill themselves.

Will censoring suicide scenes minimise suicides among the Indian community? I doubt it.

One can obviously deduce that the root of this problem lies in the troubles the Johnsons are facing — that of a financial nature.

I believe Palanivel has to do better than offer such simplistic solutions.

He should look at the crux of the matter — the socio-economic problems of the Indian community in Malaysia. Maybe this is a contributing factor for people to commit suicide, as opposed to say, watching Tamil movies.

I enjoy watching movie scenes of murder, suicide, sex and violence, but that doesn’t make me want to commit suicide or kill someone else.

I think our leaders need to resolve these underlying problems instead of taking the easy way out with knee-jerk reactions like censoring movie scenes.

This Is So Fucking Absurd

I usually make it a point to not make my entries in this blog too personal by dealing with my feelings and emotions. I don't see why I should make an exception today. All I have to say is that this is so fucking absurd, I don't know what to make of it. I'm going to go to sleep.

Stop Demonizing Television; a letter to the editor

A couple of days back, an Indian woman topped herself by throwing herself in the path of an oncoming train with her 4 children. Tragically, she and her 2 kids died on the spot; while another 2 managed to free themselves of their mothers deadly embrace, one unhurt and another in serious condition...

Newly elected Malaysian Indian Congress (MIC, the main Indian political party in Malaysia) deputy president, G. Palanivel visited the grieving family and suggested that suicide scenes in Tamil movies be censored to prevent more incidences of suicides among Indians.

Here are my 2 cents writen to the New Strait Times, whether they publish it or not... I don't know. Enjoy.


Dear editor,
I would like to congratulate Datuk G. Palinavel on his recent political victory and his audacious statement in the NST today calling for the censorship of suicide scenes in tamil movies.

It is atrocious that after having visited Jason Johnson in the hospital, all he can is that suicide scenes in tamil movies are causing people to kill themselves. Will censoring suicide scenes minimize suicides among the Indian community? I doubt it, but one can obviously deduce that the root of this problem lies in the troubles that the Johnsons are facing... one that is of a financial nature.

I believe that after being given the mandate by the Indian community as the party's deputy president, he has to do better than offering such simplistic solutions. May I suggest to the Datuk to look at the crux of the matter, that being the social-economy descrepency among the Indian community of Malaysia. Maybe this descrepency is the reason why people are commiting suicide, as opposed to say... watching tamil movies.

Even if 'watching tamil movies' is a problem among the Indian community, I take it that the Datuk doesn't think very highly of the Indian community. Is the Indian community so easily influenced? I doubt it. I would like to believe that Malaysians are capable of making their own decisions on what's good for themselves.

I myself really enjoy murder, suicide, sex, and violence in my entertainment, but strangely that doesn't make me want to commit suicide, kill, or rape someone else. I think maybe because I am an individual capable of rational thought, or maybe because I am not burdened with the problems of those who are driven to commit such acts. I think the leaders of our country need to address and solve these underlying problems instead of taking the easy way out of banning, legislating, and more religious classes.

Sincerely,
chi too

Meet Spanky!

Random Hyperbolical Objects have finally been updated.

Among the new entries are Spanky!; some paintings, drawings, and installatons. Take a look see. This is a shameless plug brought to you by chi too.

A Long Way Down

I just finished reading a book... Nick Hornby's A Long Way Down.
Well... one may expect that I'll do a review of the book.Unfortunately, I can't. I've got blogging principles and my principles are to not have useful content in my blog. I've devoted this page for talking cock. All I'm gonna say is that this book is really funny, you should read it.
I will however offer you an excerpt from the book...

"How do people, like, not curse? How is it possible? There are all these gaps in speech where you just have to put a 'fuck'. I'll tell you who the most admirable person in the world are: newscasters. If that was me, I'd be like, 'And the motherfuckers flew the fucking plane right into the twin towers.' How could you not, if you're a human being? Maybe they're not so admirable. Maybe they're robot zombies."