I received an email from Commander Panda (of Panda Head Curry, who single handedly caused me to evolve into a mass of pure energy) on his sentiments on being a Malaysian. I liked it alot, so I sent him an email...
dear commander panda,
can i humbly seek your permission to cut and paste this email onto my blog as part of my 'the merdeka series' blogs on my blogspot. it would be good for my readers to be enlightened with the eternal wisdom of panda head curry.
regards,
chi too
and he replied...
Well, in addition to being this millineum's greatest minds, Panda Head Curry is magnanimous. Particularly to you carbon based homosapiens (as you've probably figured, we've evolved ourselves far ahead of the rest of the class).
So, please feel free to spread the seeds of our genius in the virtual aether, so others my feel our love and taste our chicken.
Send us your a link to your blog, so we can see what you mere mortals are up to these days.
Panda!
So, here's the email he first sent me. Enjoy...
Hey Ho kids!
Hell, we here at Disarseter Records just want to have a good ole rockin' time. We've never been interested in Politics, Religion, Tree Hugging Activistas, Gender/Diversity Issues or anything that didn't involve, alcohol, loud amplification, copious amounts of alcohol and back stage groupie gymnastics.
No siree, Bob.
However, it's hard to turn a blind eye, particularly when the real world starts invading our rock star cocoon....particularly when it comes armed and start shooting at the youth in our community (more below).
It's a few days till we celebrate the 49th year of independence, a year shy of half a century of self rule.
So, what have we got to show for this? Well, this year, in addition to the Celelebrity Death Match between former and current PM, crooked bridges, cracked flyovers, and trying out how to pay govt contractors the several billion RM owned to them.....we got:
A Fundamentalist, Nationalistic, Brown Power rally to:
* Remind non Malay/muslim citizens that they are "bangsa pendatang"/"bangsa asing", so remember to behave yourselves! For some reason they think just because they contribute to our economy, society and pay taxes, that they are equal to us.
* Remind followers of other faiths that we respect your right to practice your religion and in turn please respect the fact that ours far superior to yours.
* Remind us that matters of faith and belief are NOT personal if you are born muslim, and are to be managed solely by ulamaa's, in particular our buddy the Mufti of Perak - Harry Z as he's known amongst his Hip Hop followers.
Also, Lina Joy's been responsible for a recent outbreak of rabies amongst the fundie crowd.
Cops harassing kids:
* Goatgate I New Year's Eve. 300+ kids detained at Paul's Place for devil worship and goat hearding.
* High Noon at the OK Parking Lot AKA Goatgate II - 19 August 2006. Cops go on a cowboy shooting spree outside Paul's Place in Old Klang Road, firing in the air to break up an alleged fight between 2 punk gangs....who I assume were hitting each other with bargain Fender, Gibson and BC Rich knock off guitars and drum sticks because they were frisked for any other weapons.
But in all the gloom above, here's a bright spark!
Technology: We enter the Space Race! Beam me up Scotty!
The first Malaysian astronaut program is underway. This momentous event has spurred a flurry of research and development in the following cutting edge areas:
* Can we get a Batik space suit?
* How do you get the sauce to adhere to your satay in zero G.
* What if the Malaysian astronaut turns out to be Malay muslim (Could he be otherwise? World Beater Squash Champion Nichole's the wrong race and can't let what happened at Everest recur, though we dubiously "salvaged" Moorthy and his corpse) http://tinyurl.com/nl6os
o How's he going to pray and wash himself in zero G.
o How do you compensate for orbital frequencies and relativistic effects of being in orbit to calculate prayer times?
o Which direction do you face?
(Note: No advanced calculus, numerical methods or physics methodologies were abused in the above analyses)
The above priorities sure warm the cockles of this engineer. I'm glad my tax ringgit is going to fund the above studies. I sure as hell can't think of any other experiments that I'd like to conduct in zero G...well maybe beer funnel fluid dynamics may be fun and once I've done those funnels, would I have to pee as bad as if I were on Earth..or would the zero G reduce the strain on my bladder.
Engage, Mr. Crusher.
Fly that flag proud, boys and girls & mind the Bollocks.
Regards,
Rafil
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